There is a Buddhist saying I love that goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
Late last night I was driving and scanning the radio for something to listen to. I landed on an interview with Susan Piver, the author of the new book "The Wisdom of a Broken Heart". It was great stuff, and I found myself seriously considering pulling over to the side of the freeway and digging out a pen and paper so I could take notes.
I managed to make it to my destination, here are a few tips I jotted down:
~ When dealing with difficult emotions, feel the pain, but let go of the story.
~ In long-term relationships we try to cast others in our own mental movie of how things "should be". Instead, try experiencing your partner directly (as they are) and "turn off the projector".
~ All relationships will end in heartbreak (relationships end, no one lives forever). Already knowing the end, you can relax and enjoy your time with them.
~ Try an exercise called "flashing" your practice. At any time during the day you can stop and think about what it feels like when you're doing your meditation practice. This recreates the sensations of calmness and awareness from your practice, and it drives home why practice is called "practice".
Here is a short youtube video of Piver (2 minutes).
You can find the full radio interview I listened to here (1 hour).