Emergent Dharma: Young Buddhist Blog

2011-12-08T15:12:00.002-05:00

The evil mouth of men/women, breaks the rod of iron ( Gossip will kill the best reputation ) ...Tibetan Proverb

2011-11-13T17:52:00.000-05:00

" When you are a truly happy Christian, you are also a Buddhist and vice versa "

----- Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh frm the book - Living Buddha,Living Christ -----

Keep Your Lantern Lit!

2011-04-30T15:00:00.002-04:00

This weekend is the Lotus Lantern Festival, marking the beginning of the weeklong celebration of the birth of Siddartha Guatama, the man who would come to be known as the Buddha. At Pohwa-seunim’s temple of Yeonpyeongsa & temples across South Korea, colorful lanterns are being constructed & displayed. In Seoul, a huge street festival is taking place, with dancing, music, and a parade of colorful lantern floats.

The lotus flower has been regarded as a symbol of enlightenment in Buddhism for centuries. Its beautiful blossom grows best in the murkiest, muddiest pools. So it is only natural that its shape has been used as inspiration for lanterns in Buddhist temples around the world. Just as a lantern brings light to darkness, so too do we practice to bring light to our lives & world.

In Seon, there are three pillars, or energies, necessary for practice. The first is great doubt. We continue introspect on our gongan, we continue to take nothing for granted in each & every moment of our lives. However, great doubt by itself leads to nihilism, a fanatical obsession with emptiness.

So we also need great faith, faith in the Dharma, faith in Buddha, faith in ourselves. Before we practice, we affirm our faith, saying “I take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.” Faith balances our introspective doubt, keeping us from the depths of nihilism, and our introspection balances our faith, keeping us from fanatical blindness.

Both of these however, can wax and wane. The struggles of day to day life can snuff out our desire to practice. We may say that we’re going to sit in meditation in the morning, but when that alarm clock sounds, it’s so much easier to roll over & sleep for another half hour. Our gongan may frustrate us & so we decide to watch TV instead of spending time introverting on the hwadu. A coworker may anger us, & we decide that we’ll give in to our anger, just this once…

So we have the third pillar of our practice, great perseverance.

If a lantern is not fed fresh oil, it will not stay lit.

In the 6^th century, two young warriors came to the monk Wongwang and asked him how they could practice Seon while fulfilling their duties to their kingdom. He gave them five precepts that have been handed down as a guiding ethos for those who involved in Seon martial art practice. Those two warriors went on to teach those precepts to the military, & defended their kingdom, leading to centuries of peace & unity. Of these precepts, the fourth is “Im Jeon Mu Toe”, meaning “In Battle, Never Fall Back”. So in our practice, when we feel our faith falter, when we feel it is easier to rollover & go back to sleep, we must have the perseverance of a warrior, rise up, and keep moving forward, never falling back, never giving any ground.

In our daily practice, we chant the Heart Sutra. According to legend, the sutra was written when the monk Shariputra asked the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion, Gwanseum, how we can practice like the bodhisattvas. Gwanseum answers, laying out a short overview of the basics of Seon practice, finishing with the Wisdom Perfection Darani, Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha.

However, if we look at the Heart Sutra as a gongan, the Darani is the hwadu, the response to Shariputra’s question, “How can we practice like the bodhisattvas?”

Gate gate paragate parasamgate Bodhi svaha can be translated from Sanskrit as “Going, going, going further, going even furth, the great Awakening!” We never accept that we have reached the other side because of our great doubt, we have faith that we keep moving, and we persevere, as we move forward one step at a time, never falling back.

So, during the Lotus Lantern Festival, we light our lamps, we keep them well-oiled, and we move forward, never ceasing.

Morning thought

2011-03-11T12:45:00.000-05:00

Lying to yourself makes you a clown in the eyes of Kabir or Bodhidharma.

Buddhist Psychology

2011-03-09T19:15:00.003-05:00

Hi. I'm new on this blog. I practice in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh and live in Oakland, CA where I work as a counselor (mostly over the phone) and direct a mental health program for kids. I have been studying the Bhikkhu Bodhi's book about the Abhidhamma and thinking about the way it seems to describe the mind as being made up of countless streams of consciousness (cittas) that are all relatively autonomous. Each citta has its own intention, which means every random thought or feeling is part of a citta that has an intention. In my meditations lately I've been listening to all of the different cittas and trying to see their different intentions. Its been cool.

How much aware are you?

2011-01-12T08:19:00.004-05:00

I calculate that I stay aware, in the best of days, a 5% of my waking time.
Most of it while I walk the dogs, or while I wait for something. The rest of the time I have seconds, or even fractions of seconds of awareness in which I'm conscious of what's happening, amidst a continuous state of just experiencing life the normal way.
I wonder how are things for you folks, how much aware are you on average. Let's throw in some figures, shall we?

Merry Christmas! Jesus is here!

2010-12-23T17:47:00.003-05:00

"Wait...what?!?"

"I thought we were talking about Zen! Keep your JudeoChristian monotheism out of my Korean-filtered introspective Dharmic practice!"

In the Mirror of Seon, the Great Master of the Western Mountain, Seosan, expounds on the words of the sutras translated by Kumarajiva, which says,

The Buddha did not appear in this world to save sentient beings. Rather, the Buddha appeared in order to liberate this world from the mistaken view that there is life and death, or Nirvana and salvation.

Seosan states that we exist in stillness, abiding in nothingness, neither coming nor going, neither being born nor dying. Yet we, in our minds, decide that there is birth and death, that we suffer, and so we decide that we need to be freed from our suffering.

The Apostle John says in his Gospel,

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him.

In John's theology, Christ is the agent of creation. He is the Word of God, spoken from the dawn of time. He is in us, around us, from the beginning until now. Yet we decided to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil, and we continue to, everyday, in every decision we make, in our acceptance of what we believe to be reality. We create our Original Sin, and ignore that we are originally a part of Jesus Christ, as John says,

In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.

We live in the world Christ creates, but we refuse to recognize it.

Thankfully, we do not have to keep eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

To all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God - children not born of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.

Later in John's Gospel, Jesus says,

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

This Christmas, let us ask ourselves, "Why did Jesus say that?"

Just a gongan, not a sermon...

Merry Christmas from Emergent Dharma.

Buddhists are Brave, the Brave are Buddhists

2010-10-12T11:01:00.001-04:00

banksy

Don't be angry because the world is unkind;
Have compassion

oh darn

2010-10-09T00:38:00.004-04:00

I was in my class called Death, Dying and Bereavement. A nurse from the local hospital was talking to us about all sorts of topics and asked the class, "what is suffering?" totally absorbed in the activity at hand, I didn't bother to think of the Buddha's definition of attachment and craving. I totally missed my chance to be the uber buddhist.

Buddhist Music: Samskaras and Hardcore Youth (A Review of Parkway Drive's Deep Blue)

2010-09-29T11:42:00.077-04:00

PART I

Back to Square One (of Four):
Black Albums

Noble. Strong. Valiant. These words are interchangeable and may be used to describe the Tathagata, the buddha. He was a rich warrior prince who wrote HIStory--well, more like he had enough fame, clout and influence to have a great number of people keep alive his story of reality in this world's collective consciousness. And what an awesome story it is; Parkway Drive has done well to portray in contemporary context the experience of the one who has gone beyond and returned.

Here is my amateur review of the album above, Parkway Drive's Deep Blue (written via Facebook's Living Social):

Brutal onslaught of hardcore goodness without mercy (nor hope). A bit more embellished and poetically polished than the previous album. Deep Blue captures through distortion and guttural screams the intense profundity of the Buddhist 1st noble truth.With track names like Samsara and Karma Deep Blue pays homage to the Tathagata and "hardcore" youth alike. Underground? Underwhut?

PART II

Fiction: Paranoia and Confidence
in Hardcore Youth

Caveat 1: We have meaning-making minds. We apply meaning to everything so that the world makes sense.

I had a bout of paranoia this week. I imagined that an artist from one of my favorite bands had not passed on, contrary to the news and their acclaimed album. The more I listened to the album the more the paranoia grew. "No, this guy isn't dead... it's just a promotional tool."

All types of speculative unclear thinking flowed on and on for days. I saw everything through a skeptical and grandiosely paranoid filter. Even TV shows had plots that were developed for my personal consumption!

But then a few days ago while doing walking meditation, it dawned on me: "Wait a sec, I don't know this guy or his family."

And I think that's our job as young buddhists: We're supposed to catch ourselves, our loves and lovers and everyone around us. (See Satipattana sutta)

When we fail to catch ourselves, we fall into our self and narcissism grows and consumes all inklings of Self, hence the all-consuming "I". When we fail to catch our self, compassion fails. When we fail to catch our self, our actions may just lead to greater manifestations of paranoia, "drama", and unclear thinking. We are the Catchers; let's move past the first base. Let's play, without ego.

And now word to the wise, regarding this generation and those who are to come, by sXephil (he's not sexy; he's S-X-E):

Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan (RIP)

a little video research

2010-09-09T03:16:00.005-04:00

I've been thinking about the jukai ceremony lately, the formal ceremony where a person accepts Buddhist precepts and takes vows. I've been wondering if I want to do it myself or not, and where my practice should go in general. I found a video of an American jukai ceremony online, and watched all 45 minutes of it.

Here is another one of many interesting videos I ran across, this one just happens to be very short. Never been a smoker myself, but I like the part where the monks light up.

meditation, the anti-ADD

2010-07-25T02:30:00.001-04:00

July 15, 2010 -- People who learn how to meditate using Buddhist techniques not only may find a bit of peace in life, but also can improve their attention and focus a new study shows.

Buddhist Meditation Boosts Concentration Skills (WebMD.com)

where? here. i mean there.

2010-07-20T01:33:00.004-04:00

"If enlightenment is not where you are standing, where will you look?"

~ Zen saying

cryonics and buddhism

2010-07-10T20:46:00.011-04:00

A recent New York Times article discussed marital problems caused by (mostly) men who plan to be frozen after death in the hopes of being revived in the future, and the women who see this at best as creepy and at worst as a betrayal.

It made me recall the time several years ago when I mentioned to my wife that I would have myself frozen after death if I had the money, and I remember being amusingly perplexed by her dislike of this idea. She may have even said, joking or seriously, that I wanted to have another life with another woman.

Besides such marital discord, the issue of cryonics brings up other questions, many of them Buddhism-related. Is accepting death "giving up"? Should we seek to greatly extend life? Should we seek to preserve memories (the "data" in our brains)?

I have to admit that I've had a Buddhist philosophy-inspired change of heart. I'm ok with dying now. I'm ok with a finite life. I'm ok with being a temporary being that will cease to exist, and I see cryonics as a form of probably unhealthy grasping. I'm dedicated to living in the present, whatever happens here and now.

What do you think? Feel free to disagree and comment, I'm no expert on Buddhism, cryonics, and definitely not marriage.

post

2010-07-10T12:26:00.002-04:00

How many outlets are in the room you are in currently? Just checking.

the helping path

2010-07-03T00:29:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago our Zen priest made the point that the Buddhist path is a "helping path." It's all about helping others, he said.

It's so easy to maintain an inward looking, self-focused practice: my daily meditation, my mental suffering, my challenges... etc. So I'm trying to work on this more broad aspect of the Buddhist path.

This is an older clip from the Internets, but it's one I really like. Often the knowledge that someone else cares is an even bigger gift than the immediate aid.

Allow Myself to Introduce Myself

2010-06-15T15:30:00.003-04:00

I friggin hate introductions. I either come off like an arrogant d-nozzle or undercut whatever it was I was trying to say. Seriously, you should read my old profile of OKCupid. Or don't. My lady probably would appreciate it if I deleted it. Hmmmm...wonder if anyone's looked at it lately...

Anyway, Bruce Lee was once asked "Are you really that good?"

He shrugged and responded, "If I tell you I'm that good, you'll think I'm arrogant. If I say I'm not...well, you'll know I'm lying!"

My name is MuSsang, or at least my Dharma name is. It means the Unequaled. I think my teacher had a sense of humor when he named me that. Scratch that, I know he has a sense of humor.

When I took Precepts, I did it in front of a whole crowd, from sanghas up and down the East coast. My family and friends were gathered. Pohwa-seunim, my teacher, rattled off the list of precepts. Then he gets to "To purify the spirit, do you vow not to engage in sexual misconduct?"

"Yes, I do," I said.

Pohwa-seunim, in full-on Seon Buddhist regalia, in the middle of the temple, in front of EVERYONE, leans over and says, "I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you."

I look at him and repeat, "Yes, I vow not to engage in sexual misconduct."

Seunim paused for a moment, looks at me again and asks, "Are you sure?"

Love that guy. Saved my life.

Time goes by and I'm now a lay Dharma teacher of the Blue Mountain Order, under Pohwa-seunim. Which I guess brings me here to the Young Buddhist Blog. I think I qualify. I'm young. I'm Buddhist. With the exception guys like Noah Levine and Ethan Nictern, most of the other Dharma teachers I know are pushing 50 and beyond. Especially in the Zen world.

Anyway, that's my introduction.

i think i get it

2010-05-22T16:10:00.010-04:00

In "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" author Robert Pirsig says that the way you live is important, because "the real motorcycle you're working on is yourself."

Ok, that sounds cool and New Age.... but what exactly does it mean? How am I like a motorcycle, and how the heck would I "work on" myself like a motorcycle?

I found an answer by going back to the book that first introduced me to Buddhist meditation several years ago. "The Wisdom of Yoga" is a kind of intellectual bridge between yogic (Hindu) philosophy and Buddhism. It explains the relationship and shared heritage of the two systems.

One aspect that I loved about "The Wisdom of Yoga" was how the writer explained the Yogic/Buddhist view of our "personalities", and how they are conglomerations of behavior patterns we have collected throughout our lives. Some of these patterns (called samskaras) are good, some are not so good, and they get stronger with use. Normally we don't think about these patterns, we just do them. However, through meditation we can become better observers of ourselves and these patterns: "Oh, when I'm in situation A... I do action B... and I'm doing it again." If you are diligent in your practice, you get to a point where you can recognize when a pattern is arising, and decide if that is what you really want to do, instead of simply doing it out of habit. This is "freedom" -- no longer being bound by the chains of your patterns.

So this brings us back to working on motorcycles. To be a good mechanic one must be a good observer, and use logic. A good mechanic must listen for sounds, look for clues, and use deductive reasoning... "When A happens... B also happens...". This is what I have to do with myself, with my own patterns and behaviors. Furthermore, sitting practice is where I learn to do this.

Observing ourselves and these patterns is hard, and is really just the beginning of even harder work. Another line I like from "The Wisdom of Yoga" talks about how knowing that you're drunk doesn't suddenly make you sober. But this is the path, and this, I believe, explains how "the real motorcyle you are working on is yourself."

Peace out peeps.

headlights

2010-05-08T21:31:00.007-04:00

I stared down at the engine of my car. I did not plan to spend my whole Saturday morning replacing the stupid headlight bulbs. Why would they make the bulb covers so hard to come off? Who has hands small enough to wedge them into that tiny space?? I already spent more money than I expected, and now it was taking way more time. And my oil-stained, skinned knuckles hurt.

That's how it went for almost an hour. I got one lightbulb cover off, but the other wasn't budging. I wondered how much a repair shop would charge me to do this stupid little job.

But after a while I thought about the book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". I remembered the author talking about how the Buddha can be found inside a motorcycle engine just as surely as in a lotus flower. I started breathing again. I slowly wiped the oil off my hands with an old t-shirt.

"Motorcycle Maintenance" was a funny book for me because for the first three quarters of it I was convinced that the title's use of the word "Zen" was just a gimmick. The author talked a lot about European philosophy, and his relationship with his son... but I saw very little Zen Buddhism in it.

But somewhere in the last third the book got real Zen, real fast. And not only that, but I realized that he was actually talking about Zen the whole time.

So I stared down at the engine. This is Zen too, I thought. It doesn't get any more zen than this. Why am I so mad at the car? Life doesn't go the way we think it should. That is the suffering the Buddha talked about.

I cleaned myself up and put my tools away, closing the hood of my car. I would take a little time and come back to this problem. I'll figure it out. Patience and determination, just like in sitting practice.

The next day I came back. At first, I had no luck. Then I had the sudden idea to use a flat-head screwdriver and hammer on the cover, like a chisel, to carefully knock it loose.

It worked perfectly, and within minutes I had two working headlights.

Mustang: The Reclusive Paradise

2010-05-02T11:41:00.007-04:00

Caves of Mustang

Raja Jigme Palbar Bista

Flag of the Kingdom of Mustang

Mustang (from Tibetan Mun Tan (Wylie smon-thang) which means fertile plain) is the former Kingdom of Lo and now part of Nepal, in the north-east of that country, bordering Tibet on the Central Asian plateau between the Nepalese provinces of Dolpo and Manang.

Mustang is also known as a "Tibet outside the Tibetan Border" for it survived the Chinese invasion of 1951 and hence it fosters the original Tibetan culture, although it is now politically part of Nepal. Life in Mustang revolves around animal husbandry and trade.

The region is the easiest corridor through the Himalayas linking the Tibetan Plateau and Central Asia with the tropical Indian plains, and it enjoyed a trans-Himalayan trade.

Mustang was once an independent kingdom, although closely tied by language and culture to Tibet. From the 15th century to the 17th century, its strategic location granted Mustang control over the trade between the Himalayas and India. At the end of the 18th century the kingdom was annexed by Nepal.

However, the monarchy ceased to exist as the Kingdom of Lo in Upper (northern) Mustang, with its capital at Lo Manthang on October 7, 2008, by order of the Government of Nepal.

The last king (raja or gyelpo) was Jigme Palbar Bista (b. 1930), who traces his lineage back to Ame Pal, the warrior who is said to have founded the Buddhist kingdom in 1350.

Recently Mustang is witnessing lot of archeological & exploration activity, In an attempt to unravel a mystery, a team of internationally renowned climbers and explorers join forces with archaeologists, anthropologists and art historians to climb into unexplored cave complexes that humans had not entered for hundreds if not thousands of years.

What they find inside will rock the Himalayan world and re-write the history of this remote and mystical region. The story takes place in the legendary Kingdom of Mustang, a hidden corner of the Himalayas previously off-limits to outsiders.

Hundreds of caves punctuate the sacred landscape and little is known about why they were carved out, how they have been used, and what lies inside the mysterious caves.

Just a year earlier, during their scout, the team discovered a rare library of ancient Tibetan texts, thousands of hand-inked folios in dust-laden piles inside the caves. Their aim now is to return to the caves and rescue the texts from the crumbling landscape and retrieve them before looters get to them.

The texts are adorned with beautiful "illuminations," small paintings worth tens of thousands of dollars on the international art market. As they prepare to climb up into the caves, a group of youth from a nearby village try to stop them. What ensues is an intriguing set of events that involve the King of Mustang, the highest lama of the land, and indeed the divinities that reside in the nearby cliffs.

The texts are from the pre-Buddhist religion known as Bon. This little-understood faith is the indigenous faith of Tibet, upon which Tibetan Buddhist culture is founded. Yet the religion has suffered persecution over the years and has been nearly wiped out.

To find an ancient treasure-trove of both Buddhist and Bon texts, some completely unknown, is of high value to the remaining Bon practitioners and anthropologists like Charles Ramble from Oxford University's Oriental Institute: "These caves are probably the most reliable indicator of the continuous history of this area because they've always been used.

The kinds of things we find in there, from the archaeological record, to perhaps the richest literary repository we've found means that these really are the places on which we need to focus if we want to establish as full as possible a picture of the history and culture of the Himalaya."

Photo Album: Mustang: The Reclusive Paradise

Ps: Its almost been a year that I have been contributing to the Emergent Dharma Blog and honestly its been a pleasure and a learning experience contributing to the BLOG and at the same time also reading what all the other writers have been posting....

Regards

History®

teachers everywhere

2010-05-01T01:10:00.006-04:00

Everyone and everything in my life is a teacher.

People I don't like teach me how to deal compassionately with people I don't like. People I *do* like with habits I don't like teach me to deal compassionately with behaviors that I don't like. My constant struggle to maintain my daily sitting practice teaches me the value of my practice. Everything has a price. The aggressive pit bull that I had to deal with for several days recently reminded me that sometimes compassion requires firm and patient toughness*, not "being nice."

I hope you guys and gals have equally effective teachers, and have a great weekend too!

(*Don't worry, no animals were harmed in the making of this blog post. By the end it was wagging tails and doggie treats for everyone.)

Buddhist Science Fiction: Brook Ziporyn's The Masochistic Playpen

2010-04-29T11:11:00.013-04:00

Everything is other to itself. When you examine any experience, any person or object, including oneself--if you focus on it intensely and question it relentlessly--it proves to be ungraspable, unlocatable. This moment is immediately present, yet impossible. It can only appear as something else, some otherness: its parts, its past, its excluded possibilities. Every self must have an other, a necessary outside which simultaneously defines and threatens it. And this line between the outside and the inside, the world and the self, is also impossible. Under close scrutiny, the borders between things slip through our fingers, revealing the openness and ambiguity of what seemed so solid, so sure.

In a sense, selfhood is an act of aggression. We create our identities by consuming others, by digesting our experience and incorporating it into ourselves. But, like any contrast, the split between self and world is reversible--it can be read both ways, from either side. To see is to be seen. Our prey is also our predator. The world lurks in the shadows of our uncertainty, licking its lips in anticipation. But self and world, inside and outside, are ultimately indistinguishable. Me-ness is always already otherness, and vice versa. So the mutual violence at the heart of existence is nothing but self-violence. We are our own trauma. This self-contrast, this impossibility of being ourselves, is our true identity. It is our beauty, and our tragedy.

Brook Ziporyn's The Masochistic Playpen is a mind-blowing exploration of metaphysical self-violence, a masterwork of darkly comedic science fiction that bravely blurs the line between pleasure and pain, compassion and contempt. While Ziporyn's Omnipotence For The Millions is earthbound, The Masochistic Playpen is a free-wheeling romp through endless worlds and identities. Humans have yet to discover other intelligent life, and have successfully colonized just about every planet in the galaxy, even the ridiculously uninhabitable ones. A handful of huge, invisible corporate conglomerates own and control everything, and everything is information. Television isn't just a time-killer--it is life itself. And human cloning is outlawed, but everyone does it. The protagonist, Chet Everett (if that's his real name!), is a freelance assassin hired by a surly, alcoholic mega-corporate executive for an obscure and extremely dangerous long-term assignment. Everett must go undercover, teleporting from planet to planet and terminating a long list of radical, trouble-making clones. He is lazy but gifted, a natural. He found his ideal occupation as an adolescent--his first victim was his mother. And after thirty years in deep, cryogenic sleep (a desperate attempt to escape arrest and execution), he continues his dirty work as a paid killer and trained disintegration traveler, "with some knowledge of multiple world information etiquette and paradox technology."

Everett knows his ultimate goal: to infiltrate the heavenly resort-colony of Pleasure Land and put an end to one Doctor Foostavius, a legendary guru and TV talk show host, and an infamous clone-maker of epic proportions. But, unfortunately for him, Everett must bounce to many more planets and kill an indefinite series of other clones (or "duplicated individuals," to be PC) before reaching this final gig. Each new world is a shock to the system for our assassin. He must constantly acclimate to strange environments, uncertain identities, local cultures and customs that range from idiotic to absurd: Parenthesia, Baswik, Tumblov, Remoose... a colorful procession of worlds and perspectives. One of my favorites is Chelican, home to monks that preach an inverted mysticism, a cult of the ego that encourages everyone to be as self-centered as possible. But Everett is kept in the dark concerning his employer's plans and motives, and Pleasure Land never seems to get any closer. He becomes frustrated and suspicious--even his boss might be a clone.

As the title would suggest, self-conflict is everywhere in this novel. Everett is aware of a spectator in the back of his skull, someone amused by his painful dilemmas. Source individuals despise and dehumanize their clones. Everett himself must betray and murder his lovers and colleagues. Even the elementary particles hate themselves--disgust is a fundamental force of the universe. And this self-violence is mutual violence, as embodied by the galactic obsession with television. Everything is being recorded, everything is being watched: to see is to be seen. The Masochistic Playpen is unparalleled in capturing the voyeurism and paranoia of the information age. But the crucial Buddhist point here is that this violence reflects our deep interconnection and interdependence. In a profound way, this necessary, intimate violence reflects our solidarity. It is even possible to describe it as compassion itself, for this inescapable intersubjectivity is both our suffering and our liberation. The Buddha himself is the Other, the omniscient spectator that knows us from the inside-out.

Earth Day Isn't Everyday?!

2010-04-22T20:20:00.008-04:00

Filled with doubt and apprehension?
Sometimes the more appropriate question is:
what the f**k is this?

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

Hi, my name is...

2010-04-22T10:51:00.001-04:00

In an attempt to fulfill my lifelong plot of taking over the entire universe one blog at a time, I have successfuly convinced Raymo to allow me to contribute to this here blog about teeny-bopper Buddhists. My plans are working out perfectly. Cue evil laugh...

No, really, thanks for having me. My name is Kourtney Mitchell and I'm just your average 23-year-old black kid sifting through this swampland of samsara trying to find my way out. So far, not so good.

I grew up in Illinois (Chicago and Springfield), went to school and worked in Missouri for six years (haven't yet graduated, unfortunately) and now I'm chilling with my family in Georgia.

I've been practicing Buddhism for a bit over two years now. I started with Theravada and gained interest in Zen, and I've been back and forth between the two. Right now I'm planning on settling on the Elder Path, but knowing my unbelievably fickle mind, it'll be changed before too long.

I come from a Christian family and grew up in church. Although Buddhism is my chosen path, I have an interest in interfaith study and try to learn as much as I can about other practices. I've explored Sikhism (even practiced for a while, turban and all), New Age, Mystical Christianity, Kabbalah, Gnosticism, Hinduism, Islam...pretty much everything. I find religion and spirituality to be infinitely fascinating.

Politically, I consider myself radical, though recent bad decisions of mine have caused me to take a step back and assess my attachment to self-views and labels. I would like to see a world that is anarchist/social libertarian, but I'll settle for peace and happiness in whatever form it takes.

I love Buddhism. I find it to be the most relevant and accessible path for myself. And I'm also not afraid to say that it's for everyone. Others might disagree, but I don't think Buddhism leaves anyone out the way other faiths do. I would encourage Buddhist practice for anyone without exception.

Most of my posts will deal with politics, social activism, daily practice, insights from scripture study, and the like. I will also try to deal with issues of diversity and racism within the American Buddhist scene.

I don't claim to be right or knowledgeable about anything I discuss, but I will try to be as honest and open as possible. I greatly encourage criticism and dialogue, and please correct any mistakes I make.

Thanks. The universe will be mine in no time!

Anjali,
Kourtney aka Dharmakid

susan piver

2010-04-19T19:29:00.004-04:00

There is a Buddhist saying I love that goes, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

Late last night I was driving and scanning the radio for something to listen to. I landed on an interview with Susan Piver, the author of the new book "The Wisdom of a Broken Heart". It was great stuff, and I found myself seriously considering pulling over to the side of the freeway and digging out a pen and paper so I could take notes.

I managed to make it to my destination, here are a few tips I jotted down:

~ When dealing with difficult emotions, feel the pain, but let go of the story.
~ In long-term relationships we try to cast others in our own mental movie of how things "should be". Instead, try experiencing your partner directly (as they are) and "turn off the projector".

~ All relationships will end in heartbreak (relationships end, no one lives forever). Already knowing the end, you can relax and enjoy your time with them.
~ Try an exercise called "flashing" your practice. At any time during the day you can stop and think about what it feels like when you're doing your meditation practice. This recreates the sensations of calmness and awareness from your practice, and it drives home why practice is called "practice".

Here is a short youtube video of Piver (2 minutes).

You can find the full radio interview I listened to here (1 hour).

The Rise of The Buddhist Novel: Brook Ziporyn's Omnipotence For The Millions

2010-04-12T12:45:00.021-04:00

My previous post, "Contemplation of The Deluded Mind," was a brief sketch of the background and basis for the meditation techniques of Tiantai Buddhism. The gist is that for anything at all to exist, there must be contrast. Each contrast creates a field of relations between particular objects. One half of this contrast must be the overarching term which embraces and unifies the entire field of differences. At the practical level, Tiantai deploys the primary contrast of mind/matter (which proves to be equivalent to the splits between self/nonself, unity/multiplicity, and compassion/delusion). The practitioner is encouraged to contemplate this "moment of creation by mind," to isolate and intensify this experience as an instance of mind. This moment is a synthesis of diverse mental and physical objects, made possible by the workings of mind, of the "I" which excludes others. The student is instructed to search for mind or "me-ness" in every aspect of an experience, even and especially in its contrast to matter or "nonme." Once mind is seen to permeate all aspects of this moment, it negates itself: "one nature is no nature." Mind reveals itself to be and to have always been matter, and vice versa. The two opposites become reversible, capable of appearing as each other. Each moment can be described as neither mind nor matter, as both mind and matter, as entirely mind, or as entirely matter. The dualism is eliminated yet maintained--in fact, the contrast is heightened.

Brook Ziporyn is perhaps the first author to consciously apply the Tiantai maxim of "the more one dwells in it, the more one is liberated from it"
to an art form which is not native to Buddhist culture and practice: the novel. Omnipotence For The Millions is a ballsy narrative which sees the biased, alienated mind in everything, which attempts to explode the "I" (the illusory center of the universe) by fully realizing it. He manifests and isolates our collective delusion within his characters, allowing it to undermine itself. And he has created some of the laziest, some of the most selfish, duplicitous, and misanthropic characters ever placed on the page!

The story spins around the ever-changing fortunes of Mr. Smith and Mr. Smithers. Smith and Smithers are co-workers and rivals, drinking buddies who secretly despise and yet cannot escape each other. Despite his best efforts, Smither's fate becomes more and more entangled with that of Bill Smith. The two take turns playing the roles of boss and subordinate, supporting and sabotaging each other's careers in hilarious and ironic ways. And their backstabbing friendship spills over into their romantics lives. Smith hates his wife and is constantly cheating on her. Smithers is fucking Smith's wife. Smithers is also fucking Suzanne Goodfellow, Mrs. Smith's archrival. There's a lot of adulterous fucking in this book.

Much of Omnipotence's philosophical subtext is provided by the company which employs Smith and Smithers, Play To Win!, which writes and produces latenight infomercials to dupe the ignorant into buying its line of bullshit, subliminal self-improvement tapes ("Discover Your Inner Deserter," "Winning Through Intimidation," "How to How Look Good and Feel Great and Vice Versa With Apple Cider Vinegar"). Much to Smithers' chagrin, Smith bursts onto the scene as a natural self-help scam artist, masterminding a series of sold-out successes. Smithers vents his jealousy by inserting unflattering caricatures of Smith within his own infomercials. Later, Smith and Smithers encounter a crackpot named Charlie Goodfellow and begin to steal his ideas. Goodfellow is obsessed with his ever-expanding brainchild, a telephone service ("Only $4.99 a minute") which provides desperate seekers with a different worldview every time they call: "Everybody Secretly Loves Me," "Everybody Secretly Hates You," "Enjoy Quiet Time at Home," "Take Lots of Drugs," "Everything Is Worthless," "Pray to Everything," "Semen Is The Essence of The Eternal Life Force So Save It Up"--Goodfellow descends into madness elaborating his endless list of worldviews. And this dial-a-worldview scheme is a biting self-parody of Tiantai Buddhism's own omnicentric worldview.

The comedic pair of Smith and Smithers allows Ziporyn to explore the two-edged sword of intersubjectivity from the inside-out: To what extent is one's rival actually oneself? To what extent do we truly need our fellow man? These are crucial questions for any Buddhist, particularly those of the Tiantai persuasion, who view inescapable intersubjectivity as both suffering and as liberation. This is a must-read for anyone seeking the emergent edge of the New Buddhism.

This 2: [Buddhism] + [Metal] = [Nirvana] x [Samsara] x (WAKE UP)! x (WAKE UP!)

2010-04-10T10:26:00.001-04:00

These words you are reading, here, are distorting what I'm trying to convey. Period. Death Metal is my samsara and I own up to it, every day.

Do you like metal? Join us at Good People who happen to Love Metal:

Contemplation of The Deluded Mind: A Brief Introduction to Tiantai Meditation

2010-04-08T14:46:00.011-04:00

Everyone, Buddhist and non-Buddhist alike, knows impermanence. It is universal and directly perceivable. Whatever appears will vanish, whatever is present will someday be absent. Even the universe itself is fleeting; it will succumb to entropy and end in either cold stillness or the inverted bang of the Big Crunch. And for this reason, the recognition of impermanence was both the point of departure for Shakyamuni Buddha's own journey of spiritual discovery and the gateway into his teachings. It is the first of his three "marks" or characteristics of existence, and leads directly to the other two: suffering and nonself. In fact, the three marks are mutually reducible to each other--three different ways of indicating the same thing. To be impermanent is to suffer, to experience decay, death, and loss. To suffer is to be unfree, to be conditional, which is what "nonself" means in this sense. To be a self is to be autonomous and unconditional, to be the sole cause of one's identity and actions. But we are not our own causes; our existence arises from and is sustained by an indefinite list of overlapping conditions. These conditions, too, are impermanent. When they vanish, so will we.

From the Abhidharma to the Mahayana, subsequent Buddhist traditions have explored and elaborated upon the notion of impermanence in diverse and often head-spinning ways. One of the most unique takes on transience is that of Tiantai Buddhism, an early Chinese school which is still practiced today as its Japanese offspring, Tendai Buddhism. Like the Buddha's marks of existence, Tiantai truth is also threefold: form, emptiness, and zhong (the "Mean"). The Mean is a common and important term in the history of Chinese thought, used by Confucians, Taoists, and Buddhists alike. In this case it means that form and emptiness are identical, a Mahayana concept made familiar by such texts as the Heart Sutra, and taken to necessary extremes by the Tiantai school. Like impermanence, suffering, and nonself, these Three Truths are mutually reducible, findable in each other--to name one is to indicate all three. Perhaps the best preliminary way to visualize the Threefold Truth is the classic Gestalt model of perception, of the relationship between figure and ground, or focus and field. Every perception has a focus (form), and every focus is carved out from an open-ended periphery or contextual background (emptiness), and these two aspects are not only simultaneous, but identical in their contrast (the Mean). Tiantai takes this meta-level framework of the Three Truths and applies it to each and every conceivable contrast. When applied to classical Buddhist impermanence, a startling and apparently nonsensical conclusion is reached: To appear is to vanish. To vanish is to appear. The more present something is, the more it is absent, and vice versa.

Let me explain. Any act of interpretation requires a contrast, and a contrast is a relation between at least two terms within a field or context, with one term acting as the focus or center which unifies and gives meaning to the rest of field. This is a necessary structure of experience. All other terms within this field of differences are defined by their relationship to this central term, as either a component, a cause, or an excluded opposite. At the same time, this center or focus receives its content and meaning from all of the other terms which it unifies. In everyday experience, this center is whatever object or entity is of interest at any given moment--say, a dark chocolate truffle. This truffle both describes and is described by all of the non-truffle things which compose it, cause it, or are excluded from it.

In a sense, everything we perceive is an expansive identity looking for confirmation "outside" of itself, in relationships of sameness, similiarity, or difference to other identities. The more we get to know someone or something--the more familiar or "present" they become--the more we compare and contrast them to other entities, and our ability to do so becomes more nuanced. Sooner or later, most identities seem to hit a wall in this self-confirmation process, a limit to the other identities which they can include in their own. But what happens when a given center is completely successful in this endeavor, when it manages to re-define the entire field in its own image? It vanishes. More precisely, it empties itself of all meaning, revealing itself to be each and every non-central term in the field. Consider, for example, the way that big picture terms like "life" or "reality" or "existence" are used in conversation. "That's life!" What's life? My job? My society? The laws of physics? Love? Heartbreak? That cat? That apple? A galaxy? A grain of sand? Birth? Death? Yes, all of that. Life is everything and therefore nothing. Once a defining center fully succeeds, and swallows up that last, opposing otherness, then the bottom falls out and it vanishes, appearing instead as everything else.

So there you go. To appear is to vanish. The more present something becomes, the more that a particular focus comes to dominate the field of perception, the more it negates itself. This discovery is the basis of Tiantai's unique form of meditation, and shapes its attitude toward the common Buddhist goal of liberation from suffering. To be free from something, one must "fully realize it." Instead of contemplating the "pure" or enlightened mind, Tiantai contemplates the deluded mind. Instead of attempting to break free from delusion, to leap out all at once, Tiantai dwells in it, and sees it everywhere. The deluded mind is the discriminating mind, the mind which categorizes and makes distinctions, the mind of tastes and preferences. Mind is an active process of creation: the "carving" of objects of desire and aversion out of an ambiguous and infinite background (the real meaning of Buddhist emptiness is that all contexts are relevant), the arbitrary narrowing of horizons which we call the self. Therefore, the focus of Tiantai meditation is, well, the act of focusing itself--each "moment of mind," this moment of mind. This moment of delusion, of selfhood, is the arbitrary starting point, the object of contemplation. This moment of selfhood is the center which unifies a diverse field of distinctions, and when it is pushed to the limit and made absolute--universalized to include the entire field of nonself components, causes, and oppositions--it collapses. And this collapse does not leave in its wake some transcendental, unconditional state of blank purity. It leaves behind only the countless nonself forms in which it was expressed, perfectly preserved just as they are and yet made absolute themselves. For when this or any other universal crashes, it empties itself into its expressions, and the terms becomes reversible, interchangeable. Self and nonself are revealed to be distinct yet nondual, capable of appearing in and as each other. There is neither self nor nonself, there is both self and nonself, there is only self, there is only nonself.

The above conclusions lead Tiantai to a position on self-knowledge which is radically different from other Buddhist schools. The self is not impossible and unknowable ("an eye that cannot see itself"), elusive and unfindable in the concrete objects of experience. On the contrary: everything you encounter is your essence, your own secret identity.

Lisa Simpson, Freakin' Buddhist

2010-04-08T11:30:00.003-04:00

To Catch a Theif...of Time?

2010-04-04T16:36:00.017-04:00

married to the sea dot com

This is a response to this post by gene.

After trying several techniques to concentrate the mind during meditation I found awareness of sensations is the one of the best ways for me to remain comfortably seated, to transcend dynamic-time.

Though not "fun or relaxing" the work of continuously--err, continually--shining the light of your minds eye upon the pulsing tissues and nerves of a sleepy foot (or an aching back, a hurried breath, neurophysiological joy in seeing a lovely face)...that work has a payoff that spreads out over the rest of the day. That is, if you're skilled enough.

I think it's all fun (our job/practice) and playful to sustain throughout the day the comfort of the "nothing to be done, nowhere to go" feeling that we tap into during meditation.

But so many a time do we become unconscious and don't even realize we've lost the connection. Hours after sitting and getting off the cushion we start our habitual belief (the world's religion) that

This needs to be done
I've gotta be somewhere, dammit!

Can we remain playful and "productive" throughout the day? Bonus points for catching yourself and reopening the tap. Ha!

the young buddhist

2010-04-02T10:56:00.000-04:00

gene was right, it's a bad idea to talk about your practice
but as a young buddhist i claim it my right to be an idiot
but being an idiot doesn't feel so great
(swallowing red hot iron balls
is only fun so many times over)
so once in a while i shut up and just live my life
but i have no life
so i just practice
this is how i get high
young buddhist, out

my practice sucks

2010-04-01T23:00:00.008-04:00

Ok, my practice doesn't really suck. But I was thinking about my last post and I think I may have given the impression that my practice was some kind of refuge* for me. That's not what it's supposed to be, and that's not what it is. Practice is just practice, it's not "supposed" to be anything.

It starts when the alarm goes off, earlier than I need, so that I have time to sit before work. I *never* want to get up -- to practice, or to anything. I'm tired, and the bed is warm. But part of my practice is exactly this, watching what arises in me. And what arises in me is annoyance, anger, fatigue, frustration... and the alarm *just* went off!

Anyway, so I get up and sit. I watch what arises from the six sense gates (the five senses and thoughts). And what arises is everything in the universe.

"Feeling the shirt touching the left shoulder."
"Hearing a truck outside."
"Having a thought that I'm still angry at my stepmother."
"Feeling a sensation of numbness in the right foot."

And so on, and so on. It's not happy fun time. Meditation, at least sensation-based meditation, is not bliss-filled. It just is.

So there's no nirvana-state. What I do often get is a sense that my ability to observe all of these things arising without reacting to them becomes apparent and seems to increase. But by the time this happens my mind wanders to some face I remember from the fifth grade, and then the alarm goes off again.

Time to go to work.

(*Correction: technically, yes, practice is something of a refuge. What I meant was my practice is more like work than relaxation.)

a common theme

2010-03-29T20:05:00.006-04:00

I've always been fascinated by the way our lives come and go in sequences of patterns. At one time you lived in certain place, went to school or work every day along a certain route, sat at certain bus stops every day, and ate at the same few lunch places every day. Then things change, and you have a whole new set of components to your routine. A new home, a new route to work, a new office, seeing different people, etc, etc.

I almost consider these mini-lives. Sometimes when I'm driving I'll pass a certain restaurant or bus stop, and think about how that spot was a part of my life for years. And now it's not. You adapt to changing circumstances, and the new becomes the normal.

In earlier posts I've talked about how I lost my job last year, and because of that I had to move in with relatives for several months before finding a new job and my own place again. I moved four times last year, so I had a lot of daily pattern changes. Different eating habits, different people, different daily routines while I looked for work, etc.

Despite lots of changes, in the last few years there has been one consistent feature in my life: my daily meditation practice. No matter where I was, every morning I woke up, sat on my zafu and did my thirty minutes of practice.

In my old one bed-room apartment I would wake up, shower and shave, then do my practice in my big living room which I had all to myself. When I lost my job I moved in with a sister who has three kids. In order to meditate I had to wake up earlier than everyone, and stealthily move from the sofa to my zafu without making any noise lest one of the munchkins upstairs hear me and come down demanding cereal. When I finally found a job I lived with my mother for a couple of months. This was actually most challenging because of the smallness of her apartment. Now I'm in my own studio apartment again, and practice is much easier.

I deeply appreciate the consistent and unifying aspect that my practice has given my life in the last few years. Change is constant, but there is always my zafu.

New Age

2010-03-23T14:36:00.005-04:00

For awhile I was getting into some topics that people would throw under the heading new age. I read this book called the Ra Material and it was about this law called the law of one.

It basically says we're all one. OK I've heard that before and I thought it was a pretty basic principle. In this book a group of people host these meditation sessions where they receive transmissions from a group of aliens that call themselves Ra. They go on to talk about all these different dimensions (which they call densities) and a lot of it i can sense some buddhist/eastern roots in it. I suppose that's why I was attracted to it.

There's a local book store that hosts a Friday night forum where everyone discusses metaphysical topics. Psychics come in and "channel" angels and what not and people seem to be sincerely uplifted by this. There's a lot of talk about this event called ascension that we're all apparently going through. They even interchange it with enlightenment. I can best describe it as spiritual evolution. The more i've gone to these meetings though I've began to wonder, is this just another way for people to put their heads in the sand?

I feel like a lot of these beliefs are adopted because it makes them feel good. Instead of being with your problems and addressing them just call upon your angels to guide you.

I normally wouldn't give a rat's ass about what other people believe but this stuff gets pushed onto me by some of my friends and in response I've become much more of a realist. Or as the dude would say, "that's just your opinion man."

For me it's hard to believe such things because of the amount of suffering that is inherent in the world. For me I find much more comfort in the silence of sitting rather than praying that aliens will come solve our problems.

drug store

2010-03-23T02:28:00.008-04:00

I walked through the drug store near my mother's house looking for bird food. She is in the mental hospital again, and I'm taking care of her birds and cat while she's away. A sort-of-familiar store employee walks past me then stops.

"Aren't you ****'s son?", she asks.
"Yeah", I say.
"Your mother left a computer monitor here last week."
"A computer monitor? Did she buy it here?" I ask, somewhat hopefully, knowing drug stores don't normally sell computer monitors.
"No." she looks back at me, vaguely smiling.
Right, of course.

On the floor behind a nearby counter is a dirty computer monitor, the bulky old kind that probably weighs forty pounds. My mother probably picked it up off the side of street to give it to someone, then forgot about it while spending two hours shopping for potato chips and talking to everyone in the store.

My mother is bipolar, what they used to call manic-depressive. When I was a child she spent several years in a state hospital. She was stable for years, but recently it's almost like she's not on medication at all. A few months ago she was in the hospital for a few weeks. The doctors monitored her and adjusted her medication. But last week she was back again.

Dealing with this, or trying not to, has always been a major part of my life. But only in the last couple of years have I realized it is also a major part of my practice. A big part of my practice in general is learning to deal with things as they are, not wishing they were something else. I'm not the best at it, but it's the path I try to walk.

I stared down at the computer monitor in the store.

"Thanks", I say, "I'll take it."

The TWO characteristics of reality

2010-03-20T17:21:00.003-04:00

When there is no self, there can not be any suffering.
Once complete equanimity has been reached, there is no suffering.
Therefore, suffering can not be a characteristic of reality itself.
So the characteristics are 2, not 3.

dying inside

2010-03-18T19:27:00.003-04:00

"Dying Inside" is a sci-fi book about an underachieving guy in the 1970's with psychic powers who has to deal with the gradual loss of those powers as he enters middle age.

The novel ends with the quote from British poet Robert Browning: "Living, we fret. Dying, we live."

We like to talk about death in Buddhism, especially being aware of it without fearing it. But I don't think we're really talking about the actual act of death (will it be painful?), or even what comes after it (heaven? re-birth?).

Of course, those are things one can fear. But that's a little too obvious. I think this novel "Dying Inside" more accurately depicts a more subconscious fear regarding death: the loss of everything important to us.

We spend our whole lives grasping to hold on to things. Grasping at love, sex, money, employment, nice cars, clothes, youth, etc. But it's futile, because we cannot hold on to these things. We will lose them all.

In the novel the main character must come to terms with the gradual loss of his psychic powers, and he must decide anew what he values in himself, what he values in his life, and what he will fear.

"Living, we fret. Dying, we live."

bleeding hearts bleeding . . . ♥ (a poem)

2010-02-27T16:08:00.006-05:00

The sun sits high to my right
In front of me a path curves to the left
Around the corner a porch buddha sits waiting, patiently
I never could kill him, he's someone's property
That would be vandalism

With poetic license expired
My thoughts seem obsessed

This couplet here slights the worldly pact
To love ourselves and one another every morning

Being told to grow up, repeatedly
Some of us may have grown too old

What is growing up, if not the acquisition of responsibility
And care for what, the suffering and the extinguishing of suffering of the world?

(We'd be great contenders)

Those couplets there bring into plain sight
The world, day in day out, it breaks my heart
But today I remember there are no ends to the days
Only exhaustion and the sleep it brings . . .

(Fun fact: As television was introduced to the nation, Bhutan's happiness index shot down drastically. Read more)

This morning death left me for someone who loves life less
Warm and cozy under blankets, I couldn't have cared less
NPR was on, streaming white light into the room
(Isn't it curios that white is the visible absence of color?)
Pragmatic nihilist's delight, civil pretense from on high

There is no resolution in this couplet either, at least not yet
My pen is low on blood and broken hearts take time to mend

Book of 1000 Faces

2010-02-19T10:19:00.002-05:00

Young Buddhist Blog now has a fan page on Facebook. Click here to view and, if you like what we do here, suggest the page to your friends. Or better yet: JOIN US in creating Earth Peace. Tango GOTAN.

Life is Good (Good Morning, Morning)

2010-02-14T13:19:00.016-05:00

natalie dee dot com

In addition to seated meditations, with time keeping by mala counting, practical morning activities help raise levels of mindfulness throughout the day. Mundane morning and evening tasks work as "bookends", which is something a therapist once told me were necessary for my personality.

"Raymond," she said, "you're too tense and intense! Figure out some way to soften your mind and manage your anxiety about the future. Try goal planning or some other activities to signal that it's the end of the week or day. Watch movies or something."

I received this piece of advice about three years ago, and only recently realized the truth in what she was saying.

The Practice:
I will have to break the first two rules in order for this post to be conducive to what I wish to do with this post. Here we go:

Every weekday morning I make my breakfast with nonviolent water. That is, I boil my water under medium high heat, and proceed by preparing one-at-a-time a concoction of oatmeal, cream of wheat, ovaltine and Gari; a slice or two of multigrain toast, also nonviolent, served soft and without goldening; and, to Zen out the breakfast experience, a cup of tea with a spoonful of honey, sometimes lemon or juice, for sweetness and a kick.

After preparing the table, I sit down and enjoy my meal without distraction. No moUrning news, papers, or music. Sometimes I keep my daily planner close by and jot down important tasks that may skip my mind. All this, I have noticed since keeping with these morning practices, has driven down my daily anxiety levels and anxiety attacks by 30% and 50%, respectively.

But before all that I always do some Zazen with my beads. Some may think keeping time with malas is not Zazen. But, this, Is. MY. Zazen.

Also, finally giving in to years upon years of mum's nagging, I started making my bed. Life is good (when you keep yourself together).

(edited 3.22.2010)
In related News:

Tiger Woods: "I quit meditating. I quit being a Buddhist. And my life changed, upside down."

Tibetan Wheel of Life

2010-02-06T07:54:00.006-05:00

The Tibetan Wheel of Life symbolizes the Buddhist perspective on life and contains within it numerous symbols of Buddhist themes and teachings.

The creature who turns the wheel of life and holds it in his clutches is Yama, a wrathful deity and the Lord of Death. Yama symbolizes the inevitability of death, samsara and the impermanence of all things. This does not lead to hopelessness, though, because outside of the wheel stands the Buddha, who points the way to liberation (symbolized by the moon).

The inner circle of the wheel contains symbols of the three root delusions: hatred (snake), ignorance (rooster), and greed (pig).

The ring around the center represents karma, with the figures on the left ascending to higher realms of existence because of virtuous actions, and the figures on the right descending to lower realms of existence because of evil or ignorant actions.

The middle ring of the wheel (the areas between the spokes) symbolizes the six realms of existence. The top half, from left to right, portrays the three higher realms of existence: humans, gods, and demi-gods. The lower half shows the three lower realms of existence: animals, hell-beings, and hungry ghosts.

The next and final outer part of the circle represents the twelve stages of life, these are that of:

1. A Blind Man: This represents ignorance and a lack of knowledge of the world at the beginning of life.

2. A Potter: Showing the way that through our actions in the world (even those that are unripened from lives before) shape our existence in this life.

3.A Monkey Climbing a Tree: This shows our conscious minds ability to aimlessly wonder of on purposeless endeavors.

4. People Traveling Across a River in a Boat: Shows the mind developing to Name and Form and the ability to apply basic direction and purpose to our endeavors.

5.An Empty House: The doors and windows of the house symbolize the developing sense organs and the six senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, touch and thoughts ability to begin passing into the mind (which at this stage has experienced none).

6.Lovers Embracing: Shows our senses giving us the ability to feel and experience the world.

7.An Arrow Hitting an Eye: Shows our ability to categorize feelings as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

8. A Man Drinking Alcohol: Shows how our feelings cause desire to arise.

9.A Monkey Picking Fruit: Shows our reaching out for our objects of desire.

10. A Man and Woman Making Love: Shows existence in Samsara through always reaching forward for our desires.

11.A Woman Having a Child: Existence in Samsara leading to a new birth.

12.An Old Man Carrying Heavy Burdens/Possessions: Shows the futility of rebirth and desire.

Tibetan Wheel of of Life The Tibetan Wheel of Life symbolizes the Buddhist perspective on life and contains within it numerous symbols of Buddhist themes and teachings. The creature who turns the wheel of life and holds it in his clutches is Yama, a wrathful deity and the Lord of Death. Yama symbolizes the inevitability of death, samsara and the impermanence of all things. This does not lead to hopelessness, though, because outside of the wheel stands the Buddha, who points the way to liberation (symbolized by the moon). The inner circle of the wheel contains symbols of the three root delusions: hatred (snake), ignorance (rooster), and greed (pig). The ring around the center represents karma, with the figures on the left ascending to higher realms of existence because of virtuous actions, and the figures on the right descending to lower realms of existence because of evil or ignorant actions. The middle ring of the wheel (the areas between the spokes) symbolizes the six realms of existence. The top half, from left to right, portrays the three higher realms of existence: humans, gods, and demi-gods. The lower half shows the three lower realms of existence: animals, hell-beings, and hungry ghosts. The next and final outer part of the circle represents the twelve stages of life, these are that of: 1. A Blind Man: This represents ignorance and a lack of knowledge of the world at the beginning of life. 2. A Potter: Showing the way that through our actions in the world (even those that are unripened from lives before) shape our existence in this life. 3.A Monkey Climbing a Tree: This shows our conscious minds ability to aimlessly wonder of on purposeless endeavors. 4. People Traveling Across a River in a Boat: Shows the mind developing to Name and Form and the ability to apply basic direction and purpose to our endeavors. 5.An Empty House: The doors and windows of the house symbolize the developing sense organs and the six senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, touch and thoughts ability to begin passing into the mind (which at this stage has experienced none). 6.Lovers Embracing: Shows our senses giving us the ability to feel and experience the world. 7.An Arrow Hitting an Eye: Shows our ability to categorize feelings as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. 8. A Man Drinking Alcohol: Shows how our feelings cause desire to arise. 9.A Monkey Picking Fruit: Shows our reaching out for our objects of desire. 10. A Man and Woman Making Love: Shows existence in Samsara through always reaching forward for our desires. 11.A Woman Having a Child: Existence in Samsara leading to a new birth. 12.An Old Man Carrying Heavy Burdens/Possessions: Shows the futility of rebirth and desire.

Positions vs. Negations

2010-02-06T04:43:00.008-05:00

(x-posted, BLEND)

The stereotypical buddhist is seen calm and always with a smile plastered across her lips. Seldom baring a tooth she exhibits great equanimity and joy in passionate activity and service. Where did she come from and why is she as she is?

Buddhism is famous in "the west" for its doctrine of self-mastery of the mind, in relation to reality: one must always be present in the here and the now. In these modern times of mandatory multitasking, planning, and anxiety (yes mandatory anxiety!) Buddhism’s ancient wisdom remains relevant. It provides an access point into the now.

Case in point: What is this?
This question is most useful in orienting the Buddhist no matter where one is and no matter what is happening; whether in a rain-and-thunder storm or taking care of a feverish baby; even as one soaks in a warm bath and enjoys scented candles and incense, the question "what is this" guides the busy mind back to the present moment: which is where one needs to be in order to answer the question.
Using labels and positive facts about time, place, and purpose help orient the 6th sense, mind, which is the aggregate of all the five senses.

When we contextualize a situation with positive facts, we end up with a fairly accurate picture of our reality. Further, for those with enough time, and energy, identifying dharmaic or archetypical characteristics--most recognizably: greed, ignorance, and joy, gratitude, metta--uncover the roots of the present experience and, in turn, truly experience the present presence.

A great example of this is the roadtrip game "20 question": you ask positive closed-ended (yes/no) questions. Yes, here I suggest 20 Questions is very Zen.

Meanwhile, in certain faces of Zen there is an emphasis on awareness of what is not. At face value, this seems negative; however, with daily practice one finds the usefulness of negation in producing position; Sometimes it is more appropriate, sometimes easier, and sometimes more efficient to label what is not.

When we observe what is not, we tap into impermanence. Unnecessary clutter is quickly identified and only that which is valuable remains. For example, right now, I'm short for words; in realizing this, I experience less strain as I write this post. I have few words and am not in the mood to write eloquently. Okay. So I write.

When we negate, that which remains is what is. Moreover, in this very Zen practice of negation and position (which I consider a general scientific-Buddhist practice), we reach as close to "the real" as personally possible. We keep it real: we blend into reality.

Aum, Anyone?

2010-02-01T15:53:00.000-05:00

Numbers&Reality III (and not2)

2010-02-01T10:57:00.001-05:00

Created through getPaint dot net

No Caption Required?

2010-01-10T11:08:00.012-05:00

The above requires No Caption....

I am reading . . . and trying to understand....

THE REALITY OF MARRIED LIFE By Ven. Dr K Sri Dhammananda

I request you to also take some time out & read this....

Is Death really an Answer?

2010-01-06T10:32:00.042-05:00

"Wow," I said aloud on the bus on my morning commute into town. I've been reading American Woman to pass time, as an active form of meditation. This morning I read a passage that talked about the Buddhist community--and death. I shut the book after reading the passage. It resounded deeply in my morning calm as it brought up questions that I ponder deeply almost daily. Questions of meaning, life, volition, and death: suicide to be exact.

I do hesitate to use this this word, almost taboo, and do apologize for any discalm it brings to you; I feel it necessary to talk about suicide--and use the word, suicide--in a meaningful manner as I'll try to do in this post. Again, this is NOT meant to be incendiary, but a necessary topic of discussion, especially for young Buddhists in the world.

Well, actually this may be an open question to the community. A question that rises in the mind: Is death an answer to the question of life and suffering?

Beside the ideas of "letting go" and selflessness as forms of death, is cessation of life an answer? Stripping the conversation of sentimentality and clinical psychology (inherent in sayings like "Suicide is not an answer"; "Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"; etcetera) the question arises; outside of these sociocultural preventative conversations--at least as they are held in the United States--what is death; what do thoughts about death signify; how important is death in dealing with everyday life? Is it something to move past or to live with, daily?

Maybe I just wanted to post something for new year--Which is going excellent, by the way. HAPPY NEW YEAR! May the upcoming year be filled with prosperous achievements, harmony, empathetic understanding, and joy. My new year is looking good. I found a new job and found out that calcium-magnesium-D vitamins float my boat and keep me cool.

Back to the point. I want this to be out there for young Buddhists. I have no definite answers. I don't think there are answers that fully satisfy. However, in addition to constant reminders that life is not a race--it's not that serious--it seems that living moment by moment; awareness of emotions and of the root of your actions; and, of course, stationary meditation, all help. We don't die or spontaneously combust even if we've "had it up to here" (and other variations on F THIS). Again, even three minutes of seated meditation helps, a lot.

K, my thoughts are breaking down now and I have to go catch a train. Below is the excerpt from the book:

She thought of the monk she had seen years ago on the news, immolating himself. It was a sight that had shocked and transformed her perhaps more than anything else in her life. She supposed that in her time with W it had been that unparalleled shock of the real she had wanted to force onto others, the way she'd felt it forced onto herself by the monk in his column of flame. She wanted to force others to see, no matter what it might take, and had felt this was just what the monk had been doing. But perhaps she'd been wrong, and the monk had really meant to convey the horrifying idea that had first crossed her mind seeing him, and that afterward she'd so urgently tried to refute: that passion for rightness was never enough, that one's every attempt would be futile. That in the end the only way to protest was by simply removing oneself from the world. (American Woman, 351)

Banksy

merry christmas

2009-12-25T14:35:00.006-05:00

When I arrived at my sister's house to visit for Christmas, my four-year-old nephew was crying in his room, angrily throwing his toys. As I walked in he had just picked up a new one to throw. I picked him up, and held him close. He put his little head on my shoulder. I could feel his little heart, lungs and breath working overtime, sputtering and hiccuping... all dis-jointed. He was fifty pounds of trembling, fear, and anger. It reminded me of what my own anger feels like when I observe it. It's like a space opens behind my nose, and my breaths no longer seem to fill my lungs, every breath seems inadequate. I suppose this makes sense, considering fight-or-flight response theories.

Mikey seemed calmer. "Are you ready to go play now?", I asked. "Yeah" he said. I put him down, and he ran off to find his brother and play again.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR ON-LINE SANGHA!!

Sex-less-ness

2009-12-23T18:00:00.006-05:00

monk sculpture

2009-12-09T03:48:00.005-05:00

This is a Chinese wood sculpture from the Seattle Asian Art Museum entitled "Monk at the Moment of Enlightenment". I visited the museum a couple weeks ago, and even though it wasn't the first time I'd seen it, this sculpture really left a strong impression on me. The look on his face, the movement of the body and robes... I really like it.

the practice of no practice

2009-11-18T11:14:00.003-05:00

I haven't been too buddhist lately. I haven't done a lot of the things I used to. I haven't been sitting regularly, I haven't been going to sangha and I haven't been reading a lot of buddhist literature. For a while i considered myself burned out but I realized it isn't that. A little bit ago I started reading about dudeism, which is this religion based around the character the dude in the movie the big lebowski. They draw a lot from buddhism as well as other eastern religions and philosophies. Mostly what it's about and what I think my practice is about mainly these days is a sense of going with the flow and taking it easy.
For me this ethic started in buddhism with the first noble truth of suffering. I now realize that there are going to be ups and downs, strikes and gutters to put it in dudeist terms and the best antidote for all of it is to simply abide and to totally accept everything that happens as part of the totality of this human experience. For example, I just failed a test on karl marx in my social theory class. I was quite hung up about it for a little while but as i've reflected on this, I have realized that wallowing in it isn't going to solve anything. There isn't anything thats going to change what happened so all i can do is move on. I have noticed that when i do sit i notice it is quite beneficial, I don't want it to become a chore though. I've move past this idea of more mediation=quicker enlightenment. For me i am constantly practicing seeing past good and bad and enlightened vs unenlightened and just accepting everything as a part of the cosmic play that is unfolding.

fender bender

2009-11-11T13:28:00.012-05:00

In the Zen tradition there is a practice in some lineages of monks walking behind meditators (usually other monks) and striking them with a stick. A few days ago life hit me with a zen stick.

It's kind of funny because I was sitting in traffic, and in my rear-view mirror I noticed a minivan behind me with a dashboard full of Beanie Baby stuffed animals. I sarcastically thought to myself, "Great, I'm going to get rear-ended by a bunch of Beanie Babies."

Minutes later I was stopped at a red light, un-mindfully minding my own business. I was probably thinking about music or errands or something else inane, when BAM!, I was hit from behind.

My head whiplashed. I hit the car in front of me. My seatbelt did its job.

The woman in the Beanie Baby van got out and ran up to my window, "I'm so sorry!!"

I was kind of dazed, "Yeah, alright... I guess we should pull over..."

Anyway, no real injuries. My bumper has some damage that she's going to have pay for. However, for the last couple of days the power and sound of that impact have hovered in my mind. I know that if it wasn't for my daily meditation practice, this event and lingering feeling would leave me feeling much more rattled and uneasy.

I also realized today that the feeling and sound of that impact is the last sensation that many, many people feel.

You're sitting in traffic, un-mindfully minding your own business, when BAM!! ... and it's lights out. You're gone.

"This life of ours would not cause you sorrow if you thought of it as like the mountain cherry blossoms which bloom and fade in a day."
~ Murasaki Shikibu

soto zen

2009-11-04T02:55:00.007-05:00

On Sunday I went and meditated with a local Zen group. My prior practice experience has been with vipassana and Korean Zen groups. This new group I visited is Japanese Soto Zen, affiliated with the larger Everyday Zen group out of California. They wear dark colors, there is chanting (mostly in English), and there are brief periods of walking meditation (kinhin) in addition to the actual sitting (zazen).

A friend who is interested in Buddhism was asking me if it was guided meditation, and I realized that it was very un-guided. That's how zen is. When I first arrived I told the priest that I had sat with a couple of other groups (of different traditions), and after that they pretty much left me alone to follow their regular routine as best as I could. No problem though, I greatly enjoyed it.

At one point an older man leaned over to tell me what page in the chant book they were using. I recognized him as the philosophy professor who had assigned the first Buddhist book I ever read, several years ago in college.

being peace

2009-10-13T12:36:00.001-04:00

Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book "Being Peace", says that the world is like a small boat lost at sea with several people in it. If everyone freaks out, fighting and losing their cool, the chances of everyone surviving are greatly decreased. But if even one person can remain calm and peaceful, he or she can have a positive influence on others, and help the group to survive. Hanh says that Buddhists are in a unique position to be like this one calm person. I saw the video below this morning, and it reminded me of the influence we have on others.

downing article

2009-10-08T22:35:00.003-04:00

This was a cool (and short) article in last week's New York Times Magazine. It was written by a guy struggling with health problems and multiple major surgeries. I liked the emphasis it places on living in and appreciating the present moment.

"Maybe life is not a lesson, or maybe I am a bad student, but I knew nothing but how sweet it is to catch an unexpected breeze."

Lives: Sudden Death, or Breeze (Michael Downing)

Emptiness

2009-10-04T11:54:00.007-04:00

Emptiness is not about Loneliness....

Emptiness is in no way related to Depression....

Emptiness is not Boredom or Aloofness as claimed by western sociologists & psychiatrists

-------

Emptiness is simply to know oneself & understand the beauty & bestiality of things around us....

Positive & Negative...Good & Bad... Happiness & Sorrow go hand in hand....

Emptiness is also Meditation as it gives one the opportunity to reflect since we no one is perfect & we all learn from our actions, Emptiness gives us the opportunity to let-go for moments when we are simply with ourselves...in joy or sorrow!

the four mountains parable

2009-09-27T21:45:00.005-04:00

Several months ago I heard a Buddhist parable that left a strong impression on me. I've looked for it on-line, but I haven't been able to find a written version of it. Since I can't remember the exact title, I'll just call it The Four Mountains Parable, and re-tell it here as best I can.

A king heard that the Buddha was a great wise man, and so called him to his court for philosophical advice. When the Buddha arrived, the King asked, "How should I live my life? What should I do to have a meaningful life?"

The Buddha responded, "That is a common question. But first, I have to tell you something. Before you consider these other issues, you must understand this. There are four mountains descending upon your kingdom, and they will utterly destroy you and everything within your kingdom. There is no escape.

There is a mountain descending upon you from the north. It will utterly destroy you and everything within your kingdom.

There is a mountain descending upon you from the south. It will utterly destroy you and everything within your kingdom.

There is a mountain descending upon you from the east. It will utterly destroy you and everything within your kingdom.

There is a mountain descending upon you from the west. It will utterly destroy you and everything within your kingdom."

The point of the story is that we are all like the king, and the four mountains descending from all directions represent death. Realizing and accepting our own mortality is an important theme in Buddhist philosophy.

I especially like this parable because it not only reminds us of the inevitability of death, but of the temporary nature of everything around us as well. There is a person in my life who hurt me, years ago. I've been angry at them for a long time. But thinking of this parable helps me to have more compassion for them. We are all here only a limited time, what's the point? Soon they'll be gone anyway, and so will I. This might sound a bit morbid, but I think it's just a more understanding view of this situation called life.

It's been a while but I am still here

2009-09-24T10:04:00.004-04:00

It has been too long since I have posted so here is an update.

I spent my summer working at the camp I love. In the foothills of North Carolina. This is truly one of my favorite places on this planet. I did not have the self discipline to meditate formerly there, but this summer I was able to grow immensely. I gained valuable leadership skills, and of course got even better at canoeing, the activity in which I instruct

Since the summer I have been back at school busy as ever! I continue to manage the football team, however due to my other various commitments have been spending less time than I have in the past with that.

I am a senior leader in a freshman dorm. As much as I love this, it is quite a challenge. Taking two advance placement courses and applying to colleges has made my work load rather large.

Yet I continue down my path, I am one of 4 regular members of the religious discussion group on campus, I am joined by a Jewish student, a Lutheran faculty member presently in seminary, and a christian student. I will talk more about this later.

I have recently greatly benefited from the updating and re-design of http://www.plumvillage.org/ and have been chanting along with the mp3's on the website. Well time is short and I must go to my next class.

-nick

knowing myself, better

2009-09-21T21:04:00.004-04:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about a passage in "Everyday Zen: Love & Work" where the author says that situations where we find ourselves confused about what to do arise because there is something we do not know about ourselves.

Today I was talking to a friend about an "everyday" problem I have: how serious I want to be in a current relationship. I felt tired and confused. I remember what Joko Beck said, and I thought that I'd like to meditate. Right then and there. Then, hopefully, I would "just know" what to do, naturally.

But of course you can't just plop down on the floor for 30 minutes every time you feel confused about something.

There is a scene in the film "Fight Club" where the apparently crazy character Tyler Durden pours lye on the hand of apparently sane main character's hand. As the chemical burn sets in, the main character closes his eyes and tries to go into a protective trance (complete with chanting). However Durden slaps him across the face and says, "NO! Don't tune out like those losers do! This is the best time of your life, and you're off... somewhere else!!"

If I haven't mentioned it before, "Fight Club" is my second most favorite Buddhist film (after "Groundhog Day"), and this scene is especially zen-inspired.

In this scene lies a tip for my earlier problem. No, I don't need to plop down on the floor and meditate when I'm unsure of what to do. Meditation practice is important. But I also want to carry elements of what I do on the cushion with me throughout the day. I want to be more aware, more accepting, and live more in the present. I want to know myself better, and to practice without practicing.

Anger and Peace, Beauty in the Beast

2009-09-04T12:01:00.010-04:00

(x-posted, Asexy Buddhist blog)

I have been sitting zazen often for the past couple of weeks. Just about every morning I wake up and sit and watch my mind for anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes. It has been a revealing practice. I have become increasingly attuned to my feelings, I find that there is a lot of anger and anxiety, a continual gushing of hostility.

The reason for all this negative energy is obvious. It has to do with my verve for truth, consciousness, and awareness; this in addition to my recent dabbling with the skeptics, champions of reason and critical thinkers like James Randi, Richard Dawkins, Michael Shermer and their associates and associations.

There is just so much baloney out there. Baloney referring to astute producers of baloney, which in turn proves a baloney case. And this signifies truth. Because of this, we must all remain very conscious and ware of all our thoughts and actions.
As the great thinker Jiddu Krishnamurthi once said, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

I must be in the throes of good health. A side effect- a direct-effect really- of which is that I experience much anger in reaction to the function of the world. Excuse me, my perception of the function of the world. As an avowed Buddhist, I try my best to express myself and see the world positively or with neutrality. But it is all just so overwhelming. It is overwhelming to see why there is so much suffering (an incredibly vicious and stupefying cycle). As an avowed Buddhist, I have to accept suffering, mine and that of the world, as truth and reality. I have to deeply understand that suffering, dissatisfaction, and tumult are integral parts in this world of form, consciousness, personality, and attachment. In hindsight, I realize that my reactivity is an important component of the function and peak condition of this vicious cycle.

For every time I see blatantly unconscious, distracted couples, or whenever I see a sexually charged promo for a night club and react in holier-than-thou, morally conscious manner, and as though my sense of self were under attack, every time that happens I buy into the sick society. I forget that critical thinking, skepticism, lay buddhism, and some forms of asexuality are continual practices. We have to stay on top of our game, and eventually, hopefully, being conscious and asexual in the world will be less of a chore. We will be more skilled in dealing with the ish. We will exist with great peace. I think the key is to be eternally accepting. (Sort of like that rule of improvisational theater, "never deny another's reality," or, “always say yes.")

To remain conscious in a sexual society is to be asexual, or as some would argue, pomosexual. Every action taken by an "adult" or young adult ought to enrich consciousness and awareness. Really, it ought to be this way because most if not all actions we take and thoughts we form are directly or indirectly informed by education and conditioning of society and are, therefore, manifestations of subconscious seduction and advocation for ideas beyond our own volition, understanding and history. Honestly, it is a kind and considerate gesture to the sexual world for someone to be asexual; to postpone sexual advances and advancement until there is total conscious will. In this way of being we help stop not-rape. (For more notes on not-rape see shades of gray post on not-rape and fugitivus post on not-rape)

(I have to say, I am not very happy with the definition of asexuality that "we just don't experience sexual attraction" ... Some argue that some asexuals are pomosexual. While this may be true for some people, like the angry or hostile asexual, pomosexuality holds little interest for the asexual except perhaps to further community, education, and pride with the LGBT&friends movement.)

And this brings me to the great realization I experienced these past few weeks of sitting: though I feel as though there is more to be explored in asexual identity, I also wish to return to the sexual realm with my gained knowledge, confidence, and awareness of self and other: a greater appreciation of "I and thou" vs. objectification. If I were to explore further my asexy identity, I would probably end up with my head (further?) up my ass. Really, there can only be so much analyzing to be done by the asexual without them subverting and undermining their reality. (see asexy beast post on what asexuals like)

Asexuality is natural, a neutral state of consciousness. Asexuality humbles and piques awareness, so any forcefulness and anger that arises about the conduct of the world is steeped in ignorance; furthermore, asexuals do not belong on high horses claiming "higher" moral ground. An ancient habit, really. Even on our journey to build community and respect we must remember to remain as we are, humble and confident.

meditating outside

2009-08-31T20:56:00.004-04:00

I meditated outside for the first time today. It was more out of necessity than desire. It's been really hard for me to meditate daily lately while I temporarily live in a household with multiple kids and other adults.

But this morning I was walking back to my car after running in the park. I passed two women who just happened to be talking about meditation. "It makes me so much more calm and focused..." one of them said. I agree. I wondered if anyone would be home when I got back -- if the house was empty I might squeeze in some practice. But what about outside? Right now? I looked around. What if someone saw me... "What's that nut doing?" What if an animal attacked me? You know, one of those giant mutant predatory squirrels.

A few yards later I spotted a trail that cut through the bushes and trees and up the hill, away from the sidewalk and beach. I took it. I found a spot where an exposed tree root made a natural step in the ground, where I could sit cross-legged with my rear-end a few inches higher than my feet. I set my cellphone alarm clock for just 20 minutes, closed my eyes, and got down to business.

I heard waves on the beach, birds in the trees, boats in the distance, and felt wind on my face. Woopty-doo. *Everything* is nice in the beginning. But then the real practice started. My feet went numb faster, used to carpet but now pressed into dirt and rocks. Tired from running, I kept having to straighten my back. Something landed on my left cheek. A voice in my head periodically said, screw it, that's enough, just get up. But I sat, and it was a good sit.

sunshine film

2009-08-21T18:59:00.013-04:00

At first the film "Sunshine" seemed way to dark and pessimistic for my liking. I'm sure others felt the same. But the more I thought about it, the more I appreciated a few of the Buddhist-related themes in the film, such as mindfulness.

(Spoiler Alert)

In the film, a crew of several scientists are
hurtling towards the sun on a suicide mission to save the Earth by putting a nuclear bomb in the dying sun to re-ignite it. It wasn't supposed to be a suicide mission, but it is now. They know they will not survive, they will not come back. The best they can hope for is that they will complete their mission before they die, and even that will be very difficult.

You might already be familiar with the Buddhist story of The Strawberry. A monk is traveling through the forest, and comes upon a tiger. He turns and runs. Coming to a cliff, he grabs some vines and climbs over the side. While hanging on the side, with the tiger above, he sees another tiger at the bottom, waiting for him. Two mice emerge from a hole and begin to nibble on the vine he is hanging on. The monk sees a strawberry plant growing near him. He picks one, and eats it, and it is the most wonderful thing he has ever tasted.

This story is basically the premise of "Sunshine", except the main characters in the film are in space and dealing with different challenges (mechanical failures, human mistakes, sabotage, etc). In the end of the film, they have flown their ship into the sun and detonated their bomb. One character stares with scientific wonder at the beauty of the explosion as it grows and engulfs him.

the next step

2009-08-15T15:38:00.009-04:00

I finally went and sat with a local meditation group this week. It's a Korean zen lineage, and they were friendly and humble folks. Although the several other people there on that week night were all white Americans, we met in an actual Korean Buddhist temple. The temple was about the size of your average home, with a pretty blue ceramic tile roof. Inside there was just one large room, with a polished wood floor, and three large gold seated-Buddha statues in the front. On the wall behind the large Buddha statues were shelves from shoulder-height to the ceiling with hundreds of the same seated gold Buddha figure, each about ten inches tall.
It was a very visually impressive scene. However, I have to admit that as an American coming to Buddhism from a mostly psychological approach, all of this ornate design made me a little wary. It just seems much more... religious. But as I said, the people were friendly and humble, and I enjoyed it.

I had sat with a vipassana meditation group before, but this was my first sitting with a zen group.

We chanted, we sat for a half hour, we did walking meditation, then we sat again for another half hour. Afterwards there was a brief reading and discussion.

I really liked it, and plan to return. I've been working on a daily meditation practice on my own for almost two years now, and look forward to adding a weekly group sitting.

Buddhas Are Asexual

2009-07-24T12:35:00.011-04:00

(x-posted, Asexy Buddhist blog)

"May all beings be happy!"

Wow, how could I have written about anything besides metta in a buddhist blog concerning relationships between sentient beings? Metta is a difficult word despite its simple essence. Good luck trying to find it in the dictionary because it's probably not in there. This is because metta is a concept in Buddhist language- but generally a word that emerged from Eastern thought- that is difficult to translate into English. The closest translation is hybrid word: lovingkindness. I'll take care not to give a concrete definition of this word as most eastern languages, modern and ancient, for example, Pali and Sanskrit depend on vagueness and open-ended sentence structures.

Loving...Kindness. Metta. Metta, lovingkindness. It is a way of being. It is a full-body sensation. A perception of mind. It is the way of being. It is harmonious. When I think of metta, I think of lions, cats, birds, bears, babies, and deer picnicking under the shade of a willow by a slow stream, all sharing a grand yet tranquil time, eating, drinking, laughing and smiling.

Now, imagine yourself on a short nature walk. You’re just taking a few minutes to stretch your legs, give your eyes a break from the papers and screens, and to get some fresh air.

The trail snakes away from your line of sight and around a bend. You hear some sounds coming from the creek below. You walk over towards the clamor and shift the shrubbery over to get a clear view. Lions! And Tigers! And Bears! Aah! A baby! A lion with a deer leg in its mouth. You freak out, wanting so badly to dash in there and save the baby (and maybe a kitten or two). You take off through the brush.

Can you pick out which scenario portrayed metta? It's simple, right? Both scenes were of metta. You see, metta is a feeling of oneness. In terms of metta, all the creatures were caring for one another and enjoying the feast. You also had metta for overcoming fear and dashing to the rescue. Moreover, what are we to make of the lion gnawing on the deer leg? Hmm this one's a bit difficult to explain, so here's a Buddhist saying:

One, persisting in the state of metta, should have no doubts, second or 3rd thoughts about feeding their hand to a starving dog by the road. Such an action should be as inconsequential as an autumn leaf falls to the ground.

Well, it goes something like that. And I think I should take a moment to say that I am only an amateur, freelance Buddhist and with only minimal studies of suttas and discourse. Take anything I say about Buddhism with 300 grains of salt.

What in the world does this have to do with asexuality? Not much but this: metta is sexless; it's a feeling that the Buddhas say is a natural and neutral state of being when no defilements of mind (ignorance, fear) are present. I like to think about it this way, "How do my penis and their mammary glands concern this very moment?"

I'll go into further depths of this question/philosophy and the word I (think I) coined concerning metta and sexlessness and nonsexuality.

Sexual Intercaste: (n. social psych, relations; interpersonal)
hierarchical system of perception and understanding in which a person relates to 'others' in terms of reproductive roles and genitalia, or sexuality and orientation, or all of the above.

my evolving practice

2009-07-14T19:41:00.003-04:00

A couple of months ago I lost my job. I was lucky enough to have a sister who lived relatively nearby with an extra room, so I've moved in with her for a bit. She also has two kids, and our father happens to be visiting for a few weeks/months also. What does all this mean? It means my meditation practice has been dashed on the rocks of erratic sleep schedules, late night tv, and crying toddlers.

So I've probably meditated three times in the last three weeks.

But where challenges exist, there is also opportunity. In my new living situation, I am forced to put up or shut up when it comes to living the dharma. We all grew up in families, so you know how it is. When dealing with parents, siblings, and children... it is easy to fall back into the same patterns of behavior of frustration, defensiveness, anger, etc. But instead I'm trying to see it as a chance to seriously practice patience and understanding.

It's more of an experiment really. But one that I am committed to.

And so far so good. One part of this dharma practice is something I picked up from the writer Thich Nhat Hanh. And that is... drum roll please... simply smiling more. It works, on myself and on others.

How is your practice going? Whatever form it is currently taking, good luck with it.

This

2009-07-09T12:44:00.000-04:00

Meshuggah - ObZen - "Bleed"

United States of Buddha

2009-06-24T21:41:00.002-04:00

I discovered yet another social networking site, this one is called ning. The rad thing about this one though is that it allows you to make your own network based on whatever the hell you want...I decided to make one for Buddhists both in my homeland of America and all around the world. As a part of the esangha i invite you all to contribute if you wish

http://unitedbuddhist.ning.com/

Li 理

2009-06-19T20:07:00.067-04:00

理 Li | division | cohesion | value

Many Western scholars have sought a Chinese equivalent to Platonic Forms or natural laws in Li 理, translating it as "principle" or "order" or "reason." Western thought's insistent split between appearance and reality has fueled its quest for the transcendent, the eternal, the absolute. Today, science measures and records statistical regularities, searching for the universally valid rules which determine each particular event.

Since ancient Greece, Indo-European thinkers have used mathematics and logic as their prototype for explaining the world. Mathematics is pure quantity, and starts with the "countable particular"––nouns with plural forms that can be directly modified by numbers. These mutually exclusive objects, each occupying its own corner of space, are added together to form aggregates and classes, which are often visualized as hierarchies of ever-larger and more-inclusive containers.

Physics provides the model for describing interactions between these mathematical entities, as the billiard-ball causation of discrete objects exerting force to move and change each other. The idea of abstract force is clearly evident in the Christian conception of God as the maker of the world, an eternal consciousness severed from time, the legislator who acts upon the universe from the outside:

Whereas the West has traditionally used mathematics as its prototype, Chinese culture took ethics as its basic model. Classical Chinese philosophy seemed relatively unconcerned with the problems of metaphysics and cosmology, of what the world is and were it came from. Its focus was axiology, the problem of enacting social values.

The West deploys math and physics to understand human agency and social networks, as objects pushing and pulling each other from without. Chinese thinkers started from the opposite perspective, modeling the interaction of natural objects on the relationships between human beings. Spontaneous motion and mutual response describe the natural realm, not the linear cause-and-effect of forced movement.

The Shuowenjiezi, China's oldest known dictionary, defines Li 理 as "to treat jade." In dynastic China, jade was the stone of Heaven––both a valuable commodity and a symbol of virtue. Skilled, jade-cutting artisans competed in the marketplace, while the virtuosos crafted ornaments and ritual implements for the Imperial court.

It takes a trained eye to discern jade's nuances of color, lustre, and texture. The jade-cutter removes the unwanted streaks and spots, carves out the creamy white or emerald green. If he is sensitive enough to the natural makeup of the raw material––to its veins, flaws, and fissures––the block appears before him already cut up. The master traces the lines which invite human action. He works with and within the given patterns of the raw material to create new patterns of cultural and economic value.

Li is often translated as "pattern." But both the patterns in jade and the patterns of human intention which shape it are secondary to the activity. Li is a verb, a process, a skill: "to cut something away from a background of raw material (division) and shape it into an object (cohesion) which meets some desire or demand (value)." Human value permeates and unifies the entire process, determining what is removed, what is kept, and how the object is shaped. Li is neither an objective pattern waiting to be discovered, nor a subjective pattern of human interest scrawled across a blank canvas. Li is the dynamic interface between nature and mind.

my oh my

2009-06-19T16:42:00.004-04:00

I have just returned from a 2 week stint in the psych ward of my hospital. Very interesting bardo. I'm diagnosed bi polar and was off my meds for about a year...i was function decently as a result of spiritual practice but the fine line of sanity became a lot smaller. Long story short I started to not sleep and basically started falling a part. I went into the hospital to take a 2 week nap basically and have returned to suffer some more! Maitreya is my main dude right now and thats what occupies my "mind" when i need it. Raymo is the next best thing to Maitreya so i gotta give mad props to him yo. He let the rest of the redundicants know what was up.

in love and light!

-Dyer, Andrew

bald spot zen

2009-06-19T02:00:00.005-04:00

A few months ago I was checking out my new haircut in the bathroom, using two mirrors. "Wait, what...?" I said to myself as I noticed a bald spot on the top-rear of my head. "Wow, that no-good barber made a mistake and didn't even tell me!", I thought to myself.

But it wasn't the barber's fault. Over the next few months the spot, and the rest of the top of my head, kept getting more and more sparse of hair. I can see what's in store for me. Welcome to Baldsville... say hello to Mayor George from Seinfeld.

Anyway, what's this got to do with Buddhist practice? Well, nothing, and everything. It's definitly a chance to recognize and laugh at my own vanity. I can read all the Buddhist books I want, but at the end of the day I still want to cling to my youth and self-image like an aspiring model worrying over zits. Gotta laugh at myself for that.

"To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring." (George Santayana)

your mind is not broken

2009-06-16T14:51:00.009-04:00

One of the lessons you learn in meditation practice is that there is no way to control the mind. It's impossible. This is called the Noble Failure, the realization that the monkey mind, the puppy at the end of the chain, or whatever metaphor you want to use, cannot be controlled. You can practice responding to it differently, but stopping our minds from jumping from past to present, from fantasy to fear to memories... is impossible. It's just how our minds work.

An article in the current Discover Magazine discusses some recent studies that have been exploring this topic.

Some points worth noting:

- Even when we focus and try to pay attention, a surprisingly large percentage of our time is spent mentally wandering.

- During large parts of this 'wandering', we're not even aware that we've zoned out.

- This line from the article seems to come straight out of a meditation book: "When our minds wander, we lose touch with the outside world."

- Our brains likely evolved to be like this because it gives us certain benefits, such as allowing us to work through different types of problems (short term and long term) at the same time.

Relating this back to Buddhism and meditation practice, I would say that this information could help us to be a little more compassionate and patient with ourselves when we are meditating. Don't be too hard on yourself when you catch your mind wandering to relationship problems or future plans during meditation. Simply note that your mind was wandering, and go back to the center of your awareness (breath, a mantra, etc).

It's ok -- your mind is working fine.

"Stop Paying Attention: Zoning Out Is a Crucial Mental State" (Carl Zimmer, Discover Magazine, 7/2009)

What Poem (about a moon and a bunny)?

2009-06-07T17:41:00.004-04:00

What?

What is this?
What is this?
What is this?
What is this?

This is simple
Just follow my count:
One-two
Two-two

Two-threee

The Bunny and the moon
The Bunny and the moon

Hop hop hop
The Bunny and the moon

Hop hop hop
The Bunny and the moon

Hop hop hop
The Bunny and the moon

Hop hop hop
The Bunny and the moon

Now close your eyes
And hop hop hop

The Bunny and the moon

Are your eyes closed?
Hop hop hop
The Bunny and the moon

Hop hop hop
The Bunny and the moon

Hop hop hop

The bunny and the silver Moon.
Shine and Smile.

the golden child

2009-06-02T01:53:00.003-04:00

I re-watched the 1986 movie "The Golden Child" today. Yeah, it's classic 80's cheesiness, but it's actually pretty funny. It's heavy on the Tibetan Buddhist mysticism and magic, which makes for a good popcorn feel-good flick.

Memorial day

2009-05-25T10:46:00.003-04:00

my family hates war
dad stood his ground against the draft
moms dad destroyed the italian fascist supply lines in a warhawk and then later watched the russians from space
brother sniped "middle easterners" who took shit way too seriously and got a leg concussion that resulted in amputation
fathers father sniped distant cousins called krout where the battlefront buldged
"I" write passionate stories in the form of music

memorial day is intended for those who died in battle. My clan all killed our "selves" to do this. We are american yogins. we died in service to others. there and back again. it has taken an infinite life times for us to get to this point.

Lord AZA Dyer The LADdie wrote this to the president for his first memorial day as commander in chief. lets take refuge and hope that the office doesnt remained attached to worldly concerns...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest&note_id=80759462764#/note.php?note_id=80759462764

-the L.A.D.die.

Permanent witness

2009-05-21T17:36:00.004-04:00

Everything is impermanent
But myself.

If I were impermanent I could not realize that other things are impermanent, as I would only exist in an instant, in which everything would be permanent, in fact, eternal, as time would not exist for me.

Therefore, I am not impermanent.
But, am I permanent?

The Ultimate Dimension: Foundations of (Buddhist) Reality

2009-05-17T10:33:00.038-04:00

Toward the end of Living Buddha, Living Christ, Thich Nhat Hanh speaks about the Ultimate Dimension, which can be defined as nirvana. Before that, he talks about the five skandhas, or, the five aggregates which shape reality. I had some ideas about nirvana from previous readings and lectures, but the five skandhas are new things for me to realize. Reading about the two views, ultimate dimensions and skandhas, in succession led me to this composition:

These five skandhas:
Body – form; stores of ‘self’ and ‘ego’
Feelings – biochemical, physiological and reactionary patterns of energy formations
Perceptions – mental constructs, informed by environment, e.g., culture, society, conditioning, habit
States of mind – house particular ranges of perceptions and feelings
Consciousness – irreducible stage upon which the body and concept of ‘I’ is built, comparable to such cosmic conceptions as dark matter and akashic field

In discourse, we are reminded that these five skandhas are sunyata: they are empty, impermanent and void of 'self'. We must realize and transcend the truth of emptiness and impermanence to prepare the conditions for nirvana to manifest itself; we must reach the cessation of all notions. As all our notions, ideas, concepts fall away we begin to live in the ultimate dimension.

Embodying the ultimate dimension
Embrace the interconnectedness of everything
And nothingness
All existing simultaneously in oneness
In sunyata

The light of the Dharma illuminates our consciousness so we may distinguish the skandhas. Realizing this truth, we see the house-builder and realize she is us and we, he, perpetually.

Can we see in this way at all times?

Post Script:

On Feelings, Perceptions, and States of Mind: These three aspects of the skandhas facilitate the process of ego-building, the ego where [your name] lives. Some call this self the "homunculus".

Whether we should or should not assuage negative patterns of behavior and cultivate positive ones, nobody knows, nobody can know. Nevertheless, some important questions to ask: are these useful behaviors and states of mind? Do our actions bring peace and allow us to live in harmony and mutual accord without taxing fellow sentient beings, our brothers and sisters, and without permanent disturbance in the stability of our environment and of the natural world?

As subscribers to the Buddhadharma, as bodhisattvas and arhats, we harness the light of the Dharma and naturally shine that light into the world: cut through delusion: dispel ignorance. With mindfulness, we sustain the light.

As we cling to self and remain reactive, samsara becomes stronger and eclipses reality; as we let go and practice compassion and metta, we allow nirvana to manifest, we become fearless and walk the path of the deathless.

Lam Rim Overview

2009-05-16T23:21:00.008-04:00

Just a quick post to share a video I found while on YouTube. This is the first video in a series of Lam Rim teachings by Thubten Chodron. The teachings aren't so much an in depth presentation, as they are more of an overview that covers key points. In any case, I hope you enjoy them.

More videos from Sravasti Abbey can be found at - http://www.youtube.com/user/sravastiabbey

bathroom wall dharma combat

2009-05-14T07:20:00.003-04:00

So i'm giving(as opposed to taking) a shit in my schools one bathroom and figured i'd give a gift to those in the future who occupy the same throne as me. I decided to scribble "Form is emptiness, Emptiness is form" on the wall. It was a nice little reminder for all to keep on pooping. Anyway the other night i go in to do my business and what do I see but a response to my tag. The well thought out reply was: Fuck you, you fuck. To which i replied: No shit, Sherlock. In online gaming this would be the time to say gg noob.

You are being watched!

2009-05-12T18:35:00.001-04:00

My mind is feeling self-conscious,
because I'm watching it!

bullshit

2009-05-12T03:12:00.006-04:00

Harry G. Frankfurt, a Princeton philosophy professor, wrote a cool little book entitled "On Bullshit" a few years ago. In it he analyzes the difference between lying, and bullshitting. A liar cares about the truth, and doesn't want you to know the truth. A bullshitter, on the other hand, isn't really concerned with the truth. A bullshitter will say whatever is necessary, lies, truth, half-truth, whatever... because what the bullshitter is really hiding is their real agenda. Frankfurt felt this was an important distinction to make because there is so much bullshit in our society, in the media and in politics for example.

Today I was sitting in a coffee shop, pondering Zen stuff, and I realized that the biggest bullshitter of all is what we normally call our "self". That voice in our head that tells us we're a loser, or a champion, or that we're bored, or angry. Do you think if you were more attractive you'd be happy? Bullshit. Maybe if you find that right person they will "complete" you and make you feel secure? Bullshit! Wait, maybe if you meditate daily you will become enlightened and THEN you will be happy. Heaps of bullshit.

The hidden agenda of the self is simply to distract you from the only thing that matters: the here and the now. The self doesn't care what it tells you, whether it keeps you focused on what a moron you are, or whether you read some self-help book and tell yourself that you're the smartest person this side of the Atlantic all day long. Either one works for the self, because you're not paying attention to who and what you really are, right now.

"When we experience ourselves as we are, then out of that death of the ego, out of that withering, the flower blooms." (Everyday Zen, by Charlotte Joko Beck)

What?

2009-05-07T22:35:00.013-04:00

I began reading brother Thay's Living Buddha, Living Christ today. Parts of the introduction lead me to the implication that Thay and I are brothers in existentialism. Looking at his actions and accomplishments I am humbled and reassured that existential living can be a wonderful thing. This boost in confidence reminded me of a book review I wrote some time back; here it is
(x-posted, 428percent):

What? 108 Zen Poems
By Ko Un

Working at McKeldin library affords me the opportunities of a book whore—to hold short fantastic affairs between myself and dozens of books, per hour, without commitment; however, I surely remember the good ones. Ko Un's What? - 108 Zen Poems was one such book. The calligraphic Zen painting of a sword on the creamy skin of the pocket-sized book caught my eye. "I must have this book," I told myself. I checked it out that evening.
I read it in one sitting and loved every single minute of it, the first book of poetry dedicated to one person I have ever read. It was of course translated and had several introductions from Ginsberg, Zen Master Thich Naht Hanh, and others.
Their introductions of Ko Un gave me the perfect frame of mind—though I had learned about and practiced several faces of Buddhism in previous years—to read and fully enjoy Ko’s poetry. But words and praises about a person can only do so much; some other deeper bond drew me to What?
Existential-Zazen theory...

The nothingness of existence that prevails in Zen Buddhism radiates between the lines of almost every poem in this book. This, however, is not to say the collection is a cold bleak outlook on life, it is more like a set of realist/naturalist/meditative blips of clarity from a very well-experienced Korean (that’s my endorsement for Ko Un).

"A Rosary

Angulimala was a devil of a cutthroat.
The fellow
sliced off the fingers of the people that he killed
and wore them
strung dingle-dangle around his neck,
including his father's fingers.

That was a real hundred-eight bead rosary.
Every bead on the string
a life."

"A Rosary" was the meeting point for the two of us: a metaphor for, and an agreeable way a Zen warrior ought to live in his time and culture. I think this is the most potent poem in What?
He, a Korean "jail-bird" rogue bodhisattva, and I, an Americanized Africa-born romantic and anti-intellectual, through but a few words that allowed for cosmic transcendence, came to a mutual understanding and view on life. Check it out, maybe you'll find your own questions and answer to the question: What [is this]?

loss

2009-05-06T20:02:00.008-04:00

So someone I knew died today in a freak accident. I knew them, but I did not know them well, so therefore I am not overcome with sadness. I feel in this situation we can only let those who truly knew them well be sad for them, and let ourselves be a support to those people. A fundamental teaching in Buddhism is impermanence, even with ones own life. There is no escape from physical death. Death is part of living.

Some people say that because there is no escape from death, that they should live every day like its their last day. They use it as an excuse to do things, that maybe are not in their best interest. If we cannot escape death, than we should indeed live every day like it is our last. Yet living every day as if it were our last means, doing are best every day to live a life of meaning and purpose.

"peace comes from within, do not seek without" - The Buddha

Love,
nick

hellwo

2009-05-06T08:13:00.004-04:00

i never experienced infinite loving kindness before until a couple days ago. my experiences have been rather redundant....so now i'm a redundicant...i renounce redundancy...whatever that means hahahaha.

one love,
A.Dyer.Harris8.15

The Short Version

2009-05-04T02:43:00.004-04:00

I had originally planned on writing a post about attachment to impermanent phenomena, and the confused views that are the root of such attachments. I had been thinking about the content of such a post for a few days now, and it was shaping up to be quite lengthy. But that's all changed now. I was just reading some of the Dhammapada when two lines seemed to stand out in particular.

Rely on nothing
Until you want nothing.

Those two lines on their own, don't really explain things in the way that I was planning to attempt. But at that moment, it was all that I needed to consider.

What is Your Satori Rate?

2009-04-29T11:24:00.008-04:00

I once was known as vaulker...vaulker died a couple of days ago...it was a brutal painful death...very sad in indeed...now I present to you Bongo Fa'Nuke. I come from a long line of Bong Fa'Nukes...

How many moments your are enlightened is entirely up to you...hehehe

Infinite Desire

2009-04-28T19:02:00.011-04:00

In my previous post, "Mindfulness & Desire", I summarized the classical Buddhist worldview. The human condition is desire, and desire is a movement away from itself, from a state of lack to a state of satisfaction. The desire for pleasure is actually a desire for power, the ability to create and recreate pleasure, and therefore all desire is desire for selfhood, the desire to be a persistent being with the freedom to determine its traits and experiences. The Buddhist practice of mindfulness, or insightful contemplation, makes our desire an explicit object of awareness, and reveals it to be quite the opposite: annica, dukkha, and anatta (impermanent, painful, and unfree). Buddhism analyzes and opposes the ignorant, contradictory belief that it is possible to be a persistent and autonomous self by pursuing desirable situations which are nothing but momentary and contingent. Once the futility of this endeavor is seen, the self-reinforcing karmic cycle is broken and winds down toward cessation and liberation from desire.

Of course, no matter how you slice and dice it, the Buddhist equation that desire = suffering is problematic for most secular Westerners. For isn't desire life itself? If you take away desire, would there be anything left, or at least anything worth living for? No appetite, no evolution, no growth, no creativity -- aren't love, art, and poetry nothing but the expression of desire? And what about Buddhism itself? Isn't Buddhist practice rooted in the paradoxical desire to transcend desire? If desire is suffering, then isn't it best to suffer? To address these questions, I would like to discuss an approach which takes the basic ideas of classical Buddhism and pushes them to their ultimate extent. This approach is not to avoid or eliminate desire, but to "dwell" within it, to fully realize it by making it universal. In other words, desire as a finite thing is overcome only by desire as an infinite thing.

Let me explain, starting with the concept of the center. Any interpretative system requires a master term or signifier from which all terms receive their significance and identity. This is the center -- the independent variable. Without a center, everything remains undefined and ambiguous. For instance, if you are a Marxist, then "class struggle" would be the center of your interpretative system. You would explain everything in terms of class struggle; even political issues such as the environment, the economy, race or gender relations would be seen as forms of class struggle. In this case, I am suggesting that desire (as suffering) is the center, and that everything else is nothing but a particular expression of desire. But if you push this interpretation as far as you can, and explain everything as a form of desire, then desire turns out to be, not the most meaningful term in the system, but the most meaningless. Desire becomes a null signifier with no specifiable meaning or content, since it literally means everything. In fact, it is the dependent, noncentral terms which give meaning to desire, since desire is nothing but what it is appearing as.

This is where things really get interesting. When the centering of an interpretative system (desire, suffering, class struggle, patriarchal oppression, the exploitation of nature, sexual repression -- take your pick) fully succeeds, when it can be used to explain anything and therefore means everything and nothing, than any other term in the system can function equally well as the center. So if I say that "all is desire" and explain, say, class struggle and the exploitation of nature as forms of desire, then "desire" really means "desire-class struggle-exploitation of nature," with an emphasis on the central term of desire. But when I name any one of these three, I am really referring to something that includes all three. If I now say "class struggle," since class struggle is just desire and desire is just desire-class struggle-exploitation of nature, I can equally say, "All things are class struggle." Any term can be the center, since each of the three really refers to all three at once. Any starting point can be a point of reference used to explain the others. Desire ends up revealing not just the character of desire, but the fact of interconnection itself. Everything is always appearing as something else. This is what certain Buddhist thinkers mean when they say that Emptiness (the central term of Mahayana Buddhism) is self-emptying.

And so I agree with the critics of Buddhism. Yes, desire is life itself. The universe is restless, discontent -- a constant movement away from itself, a constant shifting and sliding from center to center. Even physicists and cosmologists can agree with this, for they are all well aware of the uncomfortable fact that the known universe, on the largest scale, is defying the second law of thermodynamics, the law of entropy. We know that any small, isolated physical system moves from a state of order to a state of disorder, to a state of thermodynamic equilibrium. But the universe is not moving toward equilibrium; the universe is becoming increasingly ordered and more complex. It seems to be moving relentlessly forward, exploring all of its possible forms. This is seen not only at the level of astrophysics. It is quite obvious in the earthly realms of biology and the social sciences, both statistically and in everyday experience. Life is an explosion of diversity, an insatiable reaching beyond itself. Desire is beginningless, endless, unavoidable, inescapable. And so, from a Buddhist perspective, "the more one dwells in it, the more one is liberated from it." Realizing that there is nowhere one could rest more contentedly than this moment is the precondition for resting contentedly in this moment. Desire is everywhere, and so desire is empty.

Footprints of the Path So Far

2009-04-27T03:49:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone! This is my debut post on this blog, so perhaps an introduction is in order.

My real name is Geoff. However, I have decided to post using my refuge name "Jinpa". I hope that it serves as a reminder to myself, to remember the relevance of the Dharma and it's application in my daily life. Like many people, I find it all too easy to get distracted while going about my daily life. So I like to make use of any opportunity to put myself back on track.

I grew up in a fairly typical middle-class family. We went to church on Sundays, and I had a nice happy childhood. I attended a Christian boarding school during the last four years of my high school education. It was during this time that I experienced a great deal of harassment and conflict, most of which was during my final two years there.

As you might imagine this contributed to much suffering, not only at the time but some years after as well. There was a period of my life, from the last two years of high school until another several years afterward, that was a truly dark time in my life. Anger, depression, loneliness, and a general sense of loss, are just some of the many feelings that I had trouble dealing with.

I tried blaming everyone and everything. I spent a great deal of time searching for the culprit. Searching for the person, or thing, that was responsible for my dissatisfaction. But no matter who or what I pointed to, they were truly not to blame. It wasn't until I started reading books about Buddhism, that I started to see a way clear of my suffering.

I remember a time when I was reading a book by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Unfortunately I am unable to remember the name of that book. But I remember the message of it seeming somewhat familiar and valuable. I remember reading that book and thinking, "There is something to this. This makes sense."

Over the years that followed I continued to read a few Buddhist books here and there, but I made no real effort to apply any of that knowledge until more recently. It might have been close to a year ago that I made my first visit to a Buddhist centre. And that visit left a strong impression on my mind.

I attended a mini open day at Chenrezig Institute, which is near the town of Eudlo. The first thing that really surprised me was the sense of calm that pervaded that place. Even though it was situated at a fairly remote location in the Sunshine Coast hinterland, I had never experienced a sense of peace like this ever before.

I made my way up to the Gompa for the guided meditation session, which was lead by a softly spoken nun. I remember thinking to myself, "She seems so peaceful." After a truly amazing meditation session, there was a guided tour of the centre. This was led by Ven. Lhamo. She was about the last thing that I expected of a nun. She was vibrant, enthusiastic, and absolutely full of energy. Very out-going. I was expecting nuns to be very serious people. I was pleasantly surprised.

After lunch that day, there was talk given by one of the resident Geshe's. The combination of Geshe Jamyang along with his translator made for an interesting teaching. So many laughs combined with a wealth of information. I thought to myself, "If this is what Buddhism can do for people, then I want in."

So here I am today. I'm writing a post on a blog that I only found a few days ago, while keeping myself distracted by playing an online game, and struggling to stay awake after a full day at work. I can't help but smile to myself. I look back on my life - My childhood, my teenage years, and the path that I have walked so far. Absolutely amazing. All the dreams and wishes, along with the failures and disappointments, and here I am. Happy. I hope you all are too.

Much love to all,
Jinpa.

Mindfulness & Desire

2009-04-22T13:29:00.010-04:00

A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The human condition is desire, desire is the human condition. And human desire is a paradox, a never-ending search for the one condition that will make us unconditional. Desire is dissatisfaction, a demand for reality to be otherwise. But this desire is exempt from its own demand for change. It only wants part of reality to change, but wants another part -- the self -- to remain the same. For if the self does not persist to that anticipated pleasurable moment, who would be there to enjoy it? What is desired is not pleasure per se, but the repetition of pleasure.
The self desires the power to make a pleasurable experience available again and again. Desire for pleasure (and its mirror image, aversion to pain) is desire for power, which is desire for unconditional selfhood, the sense of being a particular being with the ability to determine its own attributes and experiences. And thus we have the subject-object split in experience, which is the source of suffering: desirable experiences are the objects of grasping, and the self is the master who possesses the experience and the ability to recreate it.

Desire is the attempt to create a single effect through a single cause. The self is a "one", autonomous and acting alone, a singular cause in control of its effects. But the central Buddhist doctrine of dependent co-arising, or radical contingency, reveals that being such a "one" is impossible. In every event, multiple causes give rises to multiple effects. No single effect results from a single cause, and no single self can create a single effect. Our actions depend on other conditions that are beyond our control, and our actions always produce more than the single, desired effect.

In our everyday lives, we are usually ignorant of dependent co-arising. We ignore the difference between the desired and the attained. The desired result is never the same as the remembered pleasure -- it is modified by many new conditions. We take for granted the fortuitous similarity of external conditions that allows the two unique experiences to appear identical. We ignore all the conditions that create this experience, seeing only our own autonomous agency. And we ignore the ultimate conditionality of our agency, the passivity of our activity -- for the desire itself is conditioned by the previous pleasure. The apparent satisfaction of desire, which is the apparent mastery and freedom of the self, is actually further bondage. All desire is desire to transcend time, to be unconditioned, but this desire itself is conditioned. It cannot be owned, created, or eliminated by me or anyone else. The apparent master is actually conditioned and passive, hence "suffering".

Here we have the infamous, self-perpetuating cycle: karma ("action", successful action, fulfillment of desire) + ignorance reinforces the sense of self, and selfhood motivates further action. The fulfillment of desire reestablishes the subject-object split in each new moment, and the sense of self conditions desire by finding pleasure in those things which confirm and enhance its sense of control. And this desire to be unconditioned hides itself, sustaining ignorance. The central Buddhist technique for breaking this cycle is mindfulness, close attention to desire. Attentiveness counteracts ignorance -- it makes implicit desire explicit. Usually, the desire itself does not come to consciousness as an object in its own right. It remains hidden in the body, invisible to itself and expressed only as the object to be attained. The whole world is seen through this invisible desire.

When we do become aware of desire and aversion, they become klesas (afflictions). They are painful, because they are now seen to be demands which condition and impinge upon our agency and selfhood. Mindfulness does not eliminate desire, it simply makes it explicit. And it is this ironic reversal which undermines desire, leading to its eventual cessation. Pleasure is power and freedom, the overcoming of limitation, but unconcealed desire is seen to be dependence, neediness, and limitation, and therefore displeasurable. When desire is hidden, we perpetuate it -- we desire our desire. But when desire is made an object of awareness, we dislike and avoid it. Mindfulness allows us to "let go" of desire by simply letting it be what it is: impermanent, painful, and conditioned.

Tyr(h)onius on Vexations

2009-04-22T10:55:00.001-04:00

It's ok to have vexations as long as they don't bother you.

I am a buddhist, and I love football

2009-04-20T21:32:00.010-04:00

I love American Football, not to be confused with futbol. There is no other sport like it. While some would say that because it is a violent sport, it is not in accordance with the Buddhist teachings. Yes it is indeed a violent sport, and as the trainers assistant at my school, I have seen countless number of injures resulting from it. In one season of high school football there was one diabetic seizure, one broken ankle, and one person with a torn acl (just to name a few).

So how can a Buddhist like myself love this sport? I love it because it helps bring out the best in people, and contrary to popular belief, there is a job for every one. Little kids can be ball boys, the big boys are the linemen, the smart ones are the coaches, the fast and agile ones are the skill players. The meticulous ones are equipment mangers, the hands on ones are athletic trainers, people who are good with numbers are statistician, lastly the crazy people and even the not so crazy people are the fans.

Football has had an amazing effect on a countless number of people. That is not football is perfect . Just as in everything life, people have abused it. Some only play for money, some spend too much money on it, some cheat by using drugs and many have died in the process of playing the game. This is all true, and some may say that is goes against the fifth precept of full consciousness. I say that yes it certainly can, but it does not have to. Instead the fifth precept should be used as a guide to help keep football on track.

One of the first things anyone learns in football, is how to tackle. Tackling is perhaps the most notorious fundamental of football. It involves bringing an opposing player to the ground by hitting with you body. I have never tackled, so I say this from the perspective of someone who is deeply immersed in it, but when one player hits another, it is teaching them to overcome obstacles. When one becomes injured by the hit, they are given the opportunity to work to recover.

Overcoming obstacles can be found in most worthwhile things in life, so what else sets football apart you ask? Football combines the best of all sports. Football requires the strategy of chess, the teamwork of lacrosse and basketball and most other team sports, the physicality of boxing, the agility of track and field, the strength of power lifting, and the loyalty of baseball.

Football draws its strength from emotion, and feeling. In a loss, one often feels agony, and sadness. In a win, one feels joy and exhaustion. After an even match, both teams feel the same way physically. You can see it in the players and coaches faces, whether they are happy or sad with the result, they are exhausted. If they played a good fair and clean game in which they challenged themselves to new levels, than deep down they are proud. Football produces these emotions in a relatively safe environment. In football we Buddhists are able to experience these deep emotions which help show us what we need to work on.

If we apply the fifth precept of full consciousness to football, than we create an unparalleled learning environment for ourselves and others. In a learning environment, one can only grow.

love,
nick

art walk

2009-04-18T12:59:00.003-04:00

I get off the bus just north of Pioneer Square in downtown Seattle. It will be a long walk to my office in Chinatown. But it's a nice morning. And it's early enough that the only people out are early bird tourists from Idaho and homeless people who just got evicted from the overnight shelters. So it will be a nice walk.

I pass a federal building on First Avenue. There is a new piece of abstract art there. I love abstract outdoor art. I stop on the sidewalk and face it, several feet away. I stare at it. It is about seven feet high, maybe eight feet long. It is brown-green metal, and made of strangely shaped pieces clumped together and overlapping. I close my eyes and try to picture it.
I re-open my eyes and see many details I didn't remember. I do this over and over for a few minutes, trying to capture the piece in its entirety in my mind. This is an art-viewing technique that I picked up a few years ago. The intention is to learn to not just "look" but to also "see", to connect emotionally with the art by discovering what emotions arise in you from experiencing it. One strangely shaped piece of brass on the far left looks like a fish tail. But the rest of the piece does not look like the body of a fish at all. I am confused, and slightly annoyed. I have no frikkin' clue what this art is supposed to be, or what it's supposed to mean.

Then I realize that's fine. Confusion and annoyance are the emotions this piece arises in me. Okay. I'm cool with that. I don't understand it, and I'm not going to. Not right now at least. A few things in my life are like that right now. It's not ugly. It just is. I like it.

I turn and walk to work. See you next time piece-of-crap-vaguely-fish-like art piece.

Buddhism + Tattoos

2009-04-17T12:33:00.014-04:00

An open question to the community,

Being 17, I am finding that many of my friends are getting, or about to get tattoos. I have long wanted to get a tattoo, yet my parents are totally against them. My feeling on tattoos, is that one should not want to get a tattoo, One should want to mark something forever, and by doing that they find that a tattoo is the best way to do that.

Yet how does Buddhism feel about tattoos? A native American proverb says "love and respect your body, for it is the temple of the spirit." Does getting a tattoo imply that you do not love your body? I have long interpreted this saying as a belief in not altering your body, but now I am begging to question that interpretation.

Native Americans were known to have tattoos, along with most tribal societies ever in existence. Our bodies will be altered, this is part of life. If a man needs reconstructive surgery, then I would be hard pressed to find some one who does not think that that kind of body alteration is OK.

Yet, what about cosmetic alterations. I personally am not a fan of when women wear make up. It simply does not appeal to me. I have also been long against cosmetic surgery. We will not take our bodies with us, when we die, so why bother. Yet I like the ideas behind getting a tattoo. Yet is a tattoo not cosmetic?

While a tattoo is cosmetic, I feel it is OK to get one, if you are getting it for reasons that are not cosmetic. Don't just get a tattoo because it looks cool. Get a tattoo to remember a loved one, or a significant time in you life, or to represent what you believe in. These are good reasons to get a tattoo; and it is unlikely that you will regret getting one later on in your life, if you get it for good reasons.

love,
nick

Emptiness

2009-04-17T10:56:00.001-04:00

If my thoughts are just one more skandha, then I am nothing!

Who Can Learn Zen?

2009-04-17T05:03:00.005-04:00

Only a person who is bothered also by pride, and not only despair,
Can learn Zen
I started out only being bothered by despair,
And I learned Zen

Buddha Bmx

2009-04-16T23:25:00.005-04:00

This was an activity I began as a youngster to pass the "time." A good amount of American children learn how to ride a bike, for some reason I wasn't content with just pedaling around. It started from racing friends to the grocery store perhaps while weaving and dodging obstacles in the process. Eventually we weren't content with the ground either and decided to see if these two wheeled machines could fly. In no time we were breaking the 2nd precept (or as we understood it the 8th commandment) by stealing plywood from local construction companies in order to make ramps.
I didn't even really know such a thing as bmx existed...I didn't know about the x games, or Matt Hoffman. I just figured this was the natural progression. When I did discover this world of Bicycle motocross it was amazing how quickly conditioned existence took over. I started reading the magazines, memorizing all the bmx arahats/bodhisattvas of the day and gladly allowed thoughts of going pro to flood my mind. When this happens bmxers tend to be obsessed with progression. One must always be developing their skills and learning more and more tricks. If you ride with friends and they learn something and you can't, epic suffering ensues.
It's interesting because a lot of people get into "alternative" sports because they like the individual aspect of not having a coach breathing down your neck for you to get better. What I discovered though is instead of a single coach that is there only because he wants to see you progress (so he his team can win and in the process gains him recognition) it's all of your friends (as well as your no-self) that are the coaches. They may not be as outright in their criticisms but often times their evaluation of your skills has a far more toxic effect. This mentality quickly deteriorated my love for bike riding with others. I would mostly ride by myself, a bmxing hermit if you would.
As I tragically attempted to survive my teenage years other interests came into my mindstream (creating/listening to music, the female gender, World of Warcraft and working namely) Bmxing took a backseat. The idea of moving from one point of the planet to the other for the sake of looking cool no longer did not appeal to me, nor did the physical toll that accumulates with it.
I have recently “rediscovered” the joy in bike riding though and I attribute most of it to my practice. The picture above is of me doing a one footed x-up. I did one of these at the skatepark the other week and these other bmxers said something along the lines of “that’s so 1995.” It’s very interesting how trends dictate what tricks people do on kids bikes. Anyway this picture was about a year ago and for me it’s a constant reminder of a lot of things. A big thing is impermanence; I am not the same person now as I was in that picture. My emotions at that instant in the air were not the same now. “I” had a totally different motivation towards life. Even that trick itself is impermanent. Every time I do it, it will always been a little different. My leg might be stretched a little less or a little more, the arms won’t ever be stretched in that exact same way. I might not be as high in the air. Not only that but one day, I will not be able to do that at all. My physical abilities (as well as my body) will one day deteriorate to the point of uselessness. That’s why for me I cherish that instant I’m in the air. I’m completely present in the moment of what I’m doing. Every time I crash it usually involves a distracted mind somehow, I’ll think about what I have to do instead of just doing what I have to do. Bmxing isn’t very difficult, it’s just scary. It’s easy to get attached to preconceived notions of how you think something will turn out. Before you try something or as you try it, you’re constantly questioning, checking, reasoning what you’re trying to do instead of merely just experiencing the event and learning from that direct experience. Sometimes it’s so bad that you end up fulfilling your own prophecy. Since I’ve begun my practice I am able to identify the useless presuppositions of the mind and work through them. I no longer care what others think or say about my riding. Even when I fall I am able to observe the pain in my body and understand that it is not “mine.” “I” no longer classify the pain as bad but merely as a response mechanism of the body. A big reason I got back into riding was because a $500,000 dollar skatepark was built in my town. There aren’t suppose to be bikes allowed there but neither is anyone unless they have a helmet and only a minority of people wear helmets most skaters are just as much in violation as me. This leads to a sometimes tense relationship between those who bike and those who skate. Everyone is all about the separation, they instantly stereotype who you are just because you ride on 2 wheels instead of 4. I thought I never had that stigma because a lot of my friends were skaters and I’d ride with them. I try as best I can to break down the barrier and be as friendly and compassionate to everyone else as I can. But just today I was trying to do a particular grind(a smith) down a ledge that next to a 5 stair set. When I landed a skater was right there and I had to jump off the bike to stop and nearly snapped my ankle. He didn’t even look at me let acknowledge what just happened eventhough had I been in his shoes I would have been chewed out. I noticed the angry rise very rapidly and even in a smart ass tone said “sorry for getting in your way.” The instant I said it I had a something of a satori moment and thought to myself “who’s way is it, that he’s/I’ve gotten into?”

My Buddhism Experience thus far

2009-04-15T21:25:00.007-04:00

I am a young Buddhist. I am only 17 years old, and the only Buddhist in the group of people spend my time with. I go to an all boys Episcopal boarding school with a small student body of less than 300. This school has a lot of "swagger", so as you can imagine it makes things interesting, especially because I am the first person at my school (at least since I have been here) that has been open to the community about their study of Buddhism.

Buddhism has been a blessing to me. I am constantly finding connections to it in every day life, especially in social issues, such as the environment, and poverty. Buddhism has helped me challenge my beliefs, and let them progress and evolve. Some of my feelings on issues, especially the environment, are radical to say the least. While I want every one to feel the same way I do. With the help Buddhism, I have developed the patience to understand that, that is not likely to happen. I have learned to take a detour, rather than sitting in traffic and waiting for the road to clear.
This is only a small sampling of what I have learned and what I am learning. I hope to share more, as it comes to mind. For now I must rejoin my school with "swagger".

One final thought:
The Buddha once was believed to have said "Peace comes from within, do not seek with out."
I feel this is the core of Buddhism, and it is the guiding light to my journey.

Love,
nick

Here Now

2009-04-15T16:30:00.007-04:00

Being perfectly confused or having perfect understanding are the same if we are here now, which might also be called seeing our self-nature.

"Those who see their own nature can establish dharmas in their minds or not establish them as they choose. They come and go freely, without impediments or obstacles. They function correctly and speak appropriately, seeing all transformation bodies. Never departing from their self-nature they obtain spiritual freedom, and the samadhi of playfulness. This is what is called seeing the nature.”

-Platform Sutra (Dharma Jewel Version)

********

My name is Carlo aka Tyr(h)onius. I'm a 34 year-old 6 foot tall black male (last seen wearing a ski mask) from the (southern) U.S. and I study philosophy at a university in Taiwan.

I've been studying Chinese Zen for the past four years and have particular interest in the Platform Sutra of the Sixth Patriarch.

Enlightenment is not a mind state, it's a mind/body state.

Solitude and Buddhist Romance

2009-04-15T11:53:00.086-04:00

Listening to the Dharma on solitude I did not expect Master Gil to talk about love and romance. It interesting the way he did; he essentially obliterated the dichotomous and dualistic nature of the Buddhism-romance conversation. Well, more like a conversation between my self, my no-self, and I:

In my Buddhis experience it is nearly impossible to fall in love in the traditional Western way: to have and to hold.

In his discourse Master Gil says that the aim in relationships should be to safeguard the lovers' solitude; to help ensure the beloved's wholeness and independence; to make them feel at home in and of himself; again, to safeguard her solitude. I translate this to mean that we have to learn to be alone, together; and furthermore, to be together, apart.

In this way, deluded mental constructs (manifesting as clinginess, attachment, loneliness, low self-worth and -esteem, lust, etcetera; all of which have no place in what I'm talking about here) are less likely to cake up a Buddhist lover's reality. When solitude or oneness is maintained, complemented and balanced by metta and compassion, space necessary for clarity of mind remains. I guess that's something I ought to checkout now because I do wonder what is out there in the contemporary Buddhisphere concerning the practices of 'marriage' and romance.

My general thought pattern about interpersonal relations relays to the phrase "we are 'One.'" However, in the face of modern romance, this thought appears to be under attack; the two ideas do not meld very well in my opinion. It seems as though romantic relationships take the axiom further to say "we are one above 'One.'"

In these terms it has been very difficult to pursue any type of special relations with a clear mind; complicated mental constructions, usually deluded ones have to be constructed, put in place and built upon and built upon, in order to proceed.

Now I'm curious to find out if this is a common experience: in passing I always felt as though I did a lot of isolating in relationships so that they could function and so that I could keep a clear mind. There was always a certain feeling in my gut repelling the idea of falling in love. This teaching on solitude definitely helps clear up some of those qualms.

Learning to be solitary, alone, one learns how to be with others.

Listen to the Dharmatalk

click here (or download mp3, rightclick to 'save link as')

All in all, I've come to terms with self-sabotage :(

Thoughts on Mindfulness

2009-04-14T08:29:00.007-04:00

Hello all,

So this is my first time posting, even though it has been a long time coming!

I have recently just posted a video on YouTube, in which I share my thoughts on Mindfulness. This is the second video of what I hope will be many videos to come!

Enjoy!
-nick

Optimistic Toughness

2009-04-13T01:24:00.008-04:00

In "Existentialism and Human Emotions" Jean-Paul Sartre responds to criticism that existentialism is based on a very pessimistic view of life and the world. I can see (and have heard) similar questions leveled at Buddhism. Life is suffering? All things age and die? We have to just "accept" things?

Sartre responds to his critics by saying that the existentialist view is not based on pessimism, but rather on an "optimistic toughness." The world is the way the world is, and we can't change a lot of it. Nor can we change the past. But what Sartre says existentialists focus on is their own actions, and their freedom to choose how to act. I think this applies to Buddhist practice also.

Spring-Time Buddhist

2009-04-10T12:41:00.015-04:00

Got my mala beads out two days ago
Got it from the Hare Krishnas but she causes no row

Two things to say regarding the Buddhist soul:
One, she asked "are those prayer beads?"

My thoughts raced as my mouth managed, "Yes"
"For meditation." Ah, crap! FAIL, at least

Back in the room we took a beating for advocating no-self, together,
she, with me,
Maybe, I hope, I wish...I don't.Two, these 108 beads:

To cave in to historical pressure is not my style;
Really, they represent each wonderful moment and its smile

But it doesn't stray far from there truth:
For each cycle the mind does meander at the gates of purgatory

One...two...three...36, 108
No doubt, that's as many beads as here on this bracelet